Heck of a job, Brownie

Republican Scott Brown’s defeat of Democrat Martha Coakley for the late Teddy Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusettes on Tuesday was epic.

A major political upset is always fun to watch, and is always good for the country —- no matter what party comes out on top.

It makes things more interesting in Washington. To use the cliche of the new year so far, it’s a game-changer.

Why did Coakley lose in a state that should’ve been a lock for the Democrats?

a. President Obama’s agenda

b. Health care reform

c. Coakley ran a terrible campaign

d. All of the above

Take your pick. Remember, there are no wrong answers.

Still, there were other reasons why Coakley lost theSenate race:

1. She thought the election was a lock, started to look forward to her presidential run in 2016.

2. She didn’t make a pact with the devil like all other Democrats who win do.

3. She didn’t look Hillary enough in a pants-suit.

4. She couldn’t beat the well-oiled political machine running against her —- not the GOP, Fox News.

5. Her political mentor: Michael Dukakis.

6. She’s such a fan of the NFL she took three weeks off to rest up so she’d be ready for game day.

7. Unlike Scott Brown, she doesn’t have any daughters who are “available.”

8. Unlike Scott Brown, she never posed nude for a magazine (sidebar: there is no truth to the rumor that when Brown posed naked, the song being played in the background wasthe tune from the 1970s, “Watching Scotty grow.”)

9. She couldn’t give her full attention to the campaign in the last week, too upset over the Leno and Conan late night battle.

10. She’s no Palin.

On paper two weeks ago, this week was shaping up to be a time for shattering that ever-elusive glass ceiling Hillary Clinton often made reference to during the 2008 campaign.

Foremost was Coakley succeeding at becoming the first woman to be elected Senator from Massachusetts.

On a lesser plateau, but important nevertheless in feminist circles, Kathryn Bigelow was predicted to win the director award at the Golden Globes. That win would clear the way for her to be the first woman ever to win both the Directors Guild Award and the coveted Academy Award.

Neither one happened. Coakley got humiliated in an election many thought was hers to lose. And she did.

Bigelow, on the other hand, not only lost the director award, she lost to her ex-husband, James Cameron. That would be considered humiliating if it wasn’t a Hollywood decision. Egos there aren’t easily rendered humiliated.

Bigelow still has a good shot at winning the DGA Award and the Oscar for directing the Iraq war drama, “The Hurt Locker.”

Coakley’s embarrassing loss for Senate, however, is going to be responsible for her name becoming a punchline. As in “to pull a Coakley,” which means “to believe you have something in the bag but in the end you’re left holding it.”

Next up for Coakley, a TV photo-op at some grade school in Boston where she’ll read the fable “The Tortoise and the Hare.”

Scott Brown was gracious in his victory speech Tuesday night, making only one gaffe — which TV comedians should pounch on without mercy. It was when Brown introduced his daughters to a nationwide audience and, matter-of-factly, happened to mention that they were “available.”

The crowd went crazy and the daughters, and Brown’s wife, were immediately embarrassed but, overall, took it in stride and looked none the worse for wear.

One wonders, though, what if Brown was a Democrat and had said the same thing about his daughters.

Jabba the Butt Limbaugh would’ve gone ballistic: “Here’s a man, ladies and gentlemen, who is prostituting his own daughters. He ought to resign before he’s sworn in. He’s a pimp! He doesn’t belong in the Senate, he belongs at the Mustang Ranch in Nevada!”

Brown was impressive in his first Senator-elect press conference Wednesday morning. Affable, charismatic and well-informed, it’s easy to see why he defeated the more dour Coakley.

This wasn’t Brown winning because Coakley is a woman —- no reason to bring gender politics into this election. Voter anger and fear trumps gender politics everytime. Had the roles been reversed, Coakley would have won.

In his victory speech, Brown kept mentioning that the independent voters have spoken. Nary a mention that he’s a Republican. Brown kept reminding reporters at his press conference of his independent streak and that his win was a win for the people.

When have we heard that one before? Say it, now prove it.

Keith Olbermann and MNBC aren’t buying Brown’s independent guy routine —- the progressive news network that’s the ying to Fox News’s yang —- has alreadybegun to portray Brown as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Brown’s independent persona will be put to the test immediately —- meaning how quickly he appears on Fox Noose, which gave more coverage last week to the Massachusetts Senate race than it did to the Haiti earthquake and how Americans, in these tough economic times, became a huge part of the humanitarian effort there.

Brown owes Fox for the 24/7 coverage it gave him leading up to the election (one male reporter was so turned on covering Brown’s campaign, you couldn’t tell if he was a journalist or a groupie.)

Brown was indeed the first Fox News political party candidate (on what, the Fair and Balanced ticket?) via the Tea Party, which is controlled by Fox News. The Republican Party is just the second banana in the comedy routine.

And Fox will demand its payback.

So what does this all meanfor the (formerly Republican) Fox News-Tea Party diva Sarah Palin?

There’s a new kid on the block. OK, so Palin and Brown in 2012. As Obama proved, it’s never too soon to run for president.

And, like the stars, more tea baggers will be popping up to prey on angry voters.

This could lead to the taking back of the House and Senate come November.

Be careful what you wish for. If the minority party has learned anything from year one of Obama, it’s a lot easier to be on the outside looking in. You don’t have to legislate, just agitate.

They’re off to a running start in 2010, though.Like the UPS commercial says, “Let Brown work for you.”

Now about those hot “available” daughters of yours……

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