Elvis lives

A-huh-huh.

Believe it or not, but Elvis would've turned 75 years old today.

The King of Rock 'n' Roll is of course still alive and working at a Dennys somewhere in Bug Tussle, Alabama.

Since his death in 1977, there have almost been as many Elvis sightings as there have been sightings of little green men from Mars.

And that's not counting the gawd-awful Elvis impersonators.

But what if he was still alive and still singing some of those great songs he gave us? There would have to be a new twist to some of the titles to compliment his age. Such as:

1. "A hunk-a-hunka burnin' prostate"

2. "Can't help fallin' ---- and I can't get up!"

3. "I want you, I need you, where's my Lipitor"

4. "Heartburn Hotel"

5. "Jailhouse Rocking Chair"

6. "It's now or never ---- while I can still remember how to do it"

7. "Oh let me be ... your bingo partner"

8. "Upper G.I. Blues"

9. "Shake, rattle and roll over and go to sleep"

10. "Return to Sender ---- but I can't remember my address"