Good for what ‘Ailes’ ya

It’s official: There isn’t a Republican lawmaker who is the leader of the party.

Glenn “Goebbels” Beck, Jabba the Butt Limbaugh and “pollster” Frank “the Putz” Lutz are pulling the strings of their favorite GOP boy toys.

Latest stooge in question: John McCain.

Apparently this greatest American hero didn’t learn anything from losing to Barack Obama —– like the real reason why he lost.

Flip-flop. Flip-flop.

McPalin, who during the 2008 campaign went on record as saying he’d repeal the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy the day he was sworn in and was told by military leaders it should be repealed (they told him Tuesday), has changed his mind.

Considering his age, one could almost forgive him for saying he doesn’t remember saying what he said.

So, he was for it before he was against it.

John McCain, welcome to your John Kerry moment. It wasn’t your first (“the fundamentals of the economy are still strong” is one for the ages, or for your age.)

One wonders if McCain enjoys continuing to go down hill and lose respect since picking the Baked Alaskan for a running mate.

McPalin, who is in a tough fight for re-election in Arizona, is now fighting tooth and nail to stop any repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

The old Navy pilot now believes that the archaic saying that there are no athiests in foxholes also pertains to homosexuals.

Speaking of Fox-holes, McCain keeps trying to be one. He’s not in the same club as Palin —- or even Republican Party token Michael Steele —- when it comes to do as Murdoch toots.

Fox Noose is good for what “Ailes” ya. (Even that’s more believable than “fair and balanced.”)

Johnny Mac has to continue to prove he’s on board, but the grand wizards of Fox Noose don’t think he could land the jet in their liar’s lair. Getting shot down seems to still haunt Big Mac.

So he has to sell what’s left of his soul to a party that ridiculed him in the 2000 primaries and a Noose organization that will demand a pound of aging flesh to save his rawhide.

Where have you gone Johnny Mac, a nation once thought highly of you.

Now you’re just another Fox-hole media whore.

John McCain, former war hero, is now a coward.

If there’s any further evidence needed that the GOP is in the underpants crotch of Fox Noose and the vipers of vindictiveness that is the lunatic right wing, one latest poll conducted among Republicants should eluminate the darkness:

1. 39% believe President Obama should be impeached

2. 63% believe Obama is a socialist

3. 42% don’t believe Obama was born in the U.S.A.

4. 31% believe Obama is a racist

5. 53% believe Palin would be a better president than Obama

Then there’s the 23% who want to secede from the Union. What, no more Mississippi, Oklahoma, Alabama, West Virginia, or South Carolina? Good. Be our guest, secede —- and take your lawmakers with you. Think of it: If the states that want to secede do, the Continental U.S. would see a drop in incestuous marriages, sodomy, school dropout rates, anti-Semitism, pre-teen pregnancies, the fine art of chewing tabaccy, and mouths missing most of their teefers.

People in those areas of the country would call that stereotyping, but then again they might think stereotyping means a product that’s a joint venture of RCA Victor and Underwood.

The poll says a lot, but here are a few things it didn’t report about today’s Republicants:

1. 88% believe Obama is responsible for the crucifixtion.

2. 67% believe Obama was behind the attack on Peal Harbor.

3. 59% confess they never think of Sarah Palin as a MILF, but do think of hubby Todd as a dork.

4. 71% say Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck often appear to them in dreams naked while singinga barbershop quartet rendition of “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.”

5. 81% believe Obama’s father is really Bill Cosby.

6. 75% blame Tiger Woods for Obama getting elected.

7. 86% believe Obama sits down when he goes No. 1.

8. 69% confess to having sexual fantasies involving Congresswoman Michele “They’re coming to take me away, ha-ha” Bachmann and Roto-Rooter equipment.

9. 36% blame Obama for the Vietnam war, swine flu, Truman firing MacArthur, interracial bowling, and the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

10. 91% believe Obama wants to paint the Washington Monument black and add several more feet to it.

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3 Responses to Good for what ‘Ailes’ ya

  1. bucky says:

    “67% believe Obama was behind the attack on Peal Harbor.”

    Now, THAT has real possibilities.

    Buck-stopper

  2. MJP says:

    100% of the people think you are a boring-ass writer who has whacked-out 60′s brain.

  3. paul C in PA says:

    MJP…way to go…a thought on your own…all by yourself…with Rush’s or Beck’s influence…You should be proud. Just ask the other voices.

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