Malice in Wonderland

Fox Noose diva Sarah “crib notes” Palin was the darling of the tea-bagging Tea Party Convention over the weekend.

Palin was herself. Which isn’t saying much. As usual, she was short on ideas and long on “I’m here, so cheer!”

She spoke in her usual shrill and was smarmy and had no discernable answers.

You can’t count her “there ought to be more divine intervention” as an answer to our problems.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, but even he might be thinking “You’re on your own.”

What she did have was crib notes on her hand to remind herself what she was supposed to be discussing.

Like some kid in school who has to cheat.

Once again, Palin proves she is not smarter than a fifth-grader.

And she even talks like one, too —– asking the rhetorical question of Obama “how’s that hopey, changey thing workin’ for ya.”

Got your finger (with notes on it) on the pulse of the nation there, diva, who really wants hope to flourish?

Failure is the only option for the country with “that one” in the White House.

Don’t keep hope alive —- with Palin and her puppets and puppeteers, it’s “keep failure alive.”

Continue telling Americans that America is failing. That’s loser talk.

That’s why you lost the election for John McCain.

That’s why you quit your job, because you failed to care about anybody in your state except yourself.

Failin’ Palin.

Disguise your own failings by telling people their country is failing them.

See how many you can lead across that bridge to nowhere and get to jump.

And change? Keep the change, Joe Cool. We’ll keep the status quo. Corporations should run the country, not the people —- like you pretend to profess.

Palin called President Obama a “charismatic guy with a teleprompter.”

This from a pageant-walkin’ Barbie doll who gave her best speech ever at the 2008 Republican National Convention. And that speech was scripted. And she read it from a telepropmpter.

If Palin wasn’t such a narcissistic nit-wit, she’d be dangerous.

The tea-baggers kept chanting “run, Sarah, run.”

Please do. Palin is the perfect remedy for any satirist who has ever had writer’s block.

Her followers are angry loners who rant and rave and stomp their feet because no one thinks the same way they do.

They have no sense of humor when someone lampoons their superheroine Blunder Woman.

And if you don’t think there’s anything funny about Sarah Palin, you need Viagra for your funny bone.

Palin appeals to people who can only criticize because they can’t create.

The one original thought in Palin’s head hasn’t happened yet.

So run, Sarah, run. You did so well running a state.

There are e-mails to prove that point.

Hubby Todd was in on anything that was of any importance so the only decision you had to make was whether to say, “What do you think, Todd?” or “So what do we do, first dude?”

Clintons of the Klondike — only in reverse roles. And Gump-like on the IQ scale.

Many e-mails were available to the public. Some may have been like these:

1. state budget meeting won’t be attended by gov. —- she’s working on perfecting her wink.

2. gov. unavailable to meet with fire and police officials —- thursday’s the day she catches up on her “soaps.”

3. gov. can’t leave house today —- putin’s head hovering over alaskan airspace again.

4. oops-ey daisey, gov. didn’t put that gov’t jet up for sale on ebay, she put the state up.

5. gov.’s horoscope says it’s a bad year for her to make any decisions.

Other things overheard at the tea-bagging Tea Party Convention:

1. “I’d pay $100,000 every time to hear Palin speak and take any issue and make it about herself.”

2. “With a name like Dick Armey, it’s no wonder he doesn’t want lesbians to serve in the military.”

3. “I thought I saw a black guy! Whew! It’s only Michael Steele.”

4. “The real reason why Michele Bachmann canceled: state-mandated lobotomy.”

5. “That Glenn Beck is just like normal folk —- heck, he was even manning the refreshment line and personally supervised the pouring of the Kool-Aid.”

6. “I’ll be very disappointed if Fox doesn’t show a close up of my tattoo of Bill O’Reilly kicking Keith Olbermann in the junk.”

7. “Who invited the Salahis?”

8. “An AA meeting is OK, but this is a better place to pick up disgruntled women.”

9. “I heard the next convention is going to be in West Hollywood.”

10. “Sean Hannity’s here —- let’s give him a wedgie!”

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6 Responses to Malice in Wonderland

  1. MJP says:

    How’s that hopey and changey thing going, Bruno?

  2. john says:

    Bruno…where to start…Sarah Palin:

    Graduate of ordinary colleges. Long-time marriage with lots of kids, including a Downs child she could have aborted. Decided to enter local politics, becoming Mayor of a small town. Then, in super macho, male dominated, oil-ruled, republican Alaska, she beats the incumbent, then takes down corrupt fellow republicans. Meanwhile, as governor she negotiates billion dollar deals and international agreements, becomes a true expert on energy issues (gee, too bad we don’t have need of experts on finding and extracting oil, what with all of those green jobs coming….when?)and is commander of the national guard. Quite a list of accomplishments. Bruno, admit it, neither you nor I (and I have an advanced degree and have been very involved in high level county government) have done squat compared to her. What qualifies you or any of the Palin haters (mostly the Bush deranged crowd) to judge her so harshly? Her quirky way of speaking? Her Christianity? Because she went to Idaho state? What?????

    It is elite liberal snobbery. She’s just a rube, right? Such a stale pattern: libs like you denigrate all republicans who are effective as either stupid (Reagan, Ford, W), evil or nefarious (Nixon, Bush I), but your guys are oh so brilliant. Carter..weak..anti-semite..right. Clinton? BJ’s in the White House with his wife and daughter in the residence? And now Obama, the college professor who refuses to release any of his college records, with his 5 minute career, whose presidency is falling at warp speed.

    Palin may not be the best speaker; she lacks some experience, just as Obama did and does; all true. But she connects with common people. She has core values and does not need to have a scripted teleprompter to know what to say (and she would never say “Corpse-man” as our Commander in Chief did- LOL!). She’s a leader, she has decent, traditional American values. Go ahead, mock her some more, Bruno.

    For such “smart” people, liberals are so stupid. More cowbell!!

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