Summit like it not

The health care summit, where players and player-haters positioned themselves for re-election and an eye on the presidential race in 2012, took up six hours of air-time on Thursday.

The summit was doomed from the start because Republicans said the whole thing was a set-up.

Six hours of listening to politicians pretend to care about anything but their own egos is about as smart of an investment of one’s time as buying a Toyota because you want to drive faster.

Since the good folks on both sides of the issue were going into the summit with the proverbial chip on their shoulders, it could have at least been more entertaining.

President Obama — celebrity in chief —- should’ve opened the summit with a comedy monologue —– especially since the Republicans being in the pockets of the insurance industries is such a joke.

The monologue could’ve gone something like this:

Obama: “Welcome to the health care summit —– or as Fox News refers to it, “CSI: America.”

We had to hold the summit here at the Blair House —- “Shutter Island” was unavailable.

But I wanna tell ya, I think this summit is going to be just like curling —- only without the excitement.

Good to see John McCain in attendance. John’s favorite Jewish holiday is coming up: Passover.

By the way, nice try, John, putting that pack of Newports next to my microphone.

Give it up for House Minority Leader John Boehner. I know Republicans are sincere in wanting to include people of color under their big tent, but John, that bad orange-colored tanning bed tan is getting a little too freaky with it.

Thank you, I’ll be here all day. Try the public option.”

TV time out: Whenever you see a politician speaking on TV, superimposed under their face is their name, of course, and underneath their name is their title or job description. Example:

Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State

Fox Noose —- the “Hope America Fails” network —- wouldn’t have been above doing something like this during the summit:

1. Barack Obama

“Jesus hater”

2. Nancy Pelosi

“Wicked Witch ofthe West”

3. Harry Reid

“Mayor of Zombieland”

In other news:

1. A baker’s dozen of Republicans voted for the $15 billion jobs bill that passed the Senate.

Spear-heading the GOP mini-defection was Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown, the Republican in name only who won Teddy Kennedy’s seat. Looks like Scotty is not turning out to be The Fox News Party’s cup of tea.

2. First lady Michelle Obama invited the cast of the popular TV show “Glee” to perform at The White House Easter Egg Roll.

Not to be outdone, John McCain invited the surviving cast of “The Beverly Hillbillies” to campaign for his re-election bid.

3. The big news on the Web page of Fox Noose on Wednesday wasn’t the trainer at Sea World who was killed by that killer whale, but rather a photo of an illustration of the Missile Defense Agency’s Web site featuring a new red, white and blue logo —- described as “scarily” similar to Obama’s campaign logo, as well as the symbol of Islam.

The “Hope America Fails” network is featuring another (red, white and) blue plate special of the week for all you Fox-holes to swallow.

Paranoia can destroy ya.

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One Response to Summit like it not

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