Punchlines for Palin

“Shecky” Palin made her comedy debut on “The Tonight Show” last night.

OK, some may conclude that she actually made her comedy debut in 2008 as John McCain’s running mate.

In any event, she was pretty good jawing with Jay Leno.

Granted, some of the give-and-take between the two seemed rehearsed. But when she delivered her stand-up routine, she proved once again that she’s wasting her time on Fox News and should be on Comedy Central.

Palin bragged before doing her monologue that she won’t need to use cue cards or a teleprompter (or her palm reader expertise) because she memorized the jokes.

So she is an actress after all — she learns the lines written for her on her stump speeches or at conventions without having to know what she’s talking about.

Meryl Streep of the Tundra.

Some of the better jokes “Shecky” delivered included “It’s freezing in Alaska —- it was five degrees below Congress’ approval rating.”

Palin delivered the goods, but her timing was a bit off —- she stepped over a punchline to her joke about her speaking at the NRA convention (“So be there. Or else”) without giving the audience the chance to catch up.

But that aside, Palin has a knack for delivering a good joke. She’s as well-coached in comedy as she is as being a drama queen.

On the other palm, er, hand, Palin offered a few of her theories that resulted in unintentional giggles and chuckles:

She told Leno she studied journalism in college and has a degree in communications and she’s gung ho about fairness and balance in journalism, and that’s why she joined the “Hope America Fails” so-called news network.

She criticized TV journalism for newspeople interjecting their opinions — or as she put it, “opinion under the guise of hard news stories.”

And she joined Fox? That’s like saying you signed up for a class on ethics because it’s being taught by disgraced former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich.

Among her many faults, Palin has never fully understood —- or refuses to fess up —- to hypocracy.

But the biggest line that had some in the audience almost groaning was when she said she never intends to be controversial.

Meanwhile, over at David Letterman’s show, Mitt Romney was discussing hair gel.

Palin also landed a good joke at Leno’s expense after he asked her if her future included a talk show. Her quick retort was she didn’t know but that she understood that “there’s a gig opening up her every so often.”

Pretty good, but it seemed set up.

And her hockey-mom populist line about the mainstream media —- “A lie can travel halfway around the world before truth can get its pants on in the morning” —- was clearly a line devised by Fox News conservatrons.

Palin is now ready to host “Saturday Night Live” —- and one of the sketches can feature her as Tina Fey as Liz Lemon on “30 Rock.”

Or, Palin can guest star on a “30 Rock” episode as Fey’s evil twin.

Palin can also continue her stand-up next up at that NRA speech.

But she’s such a star, she’ll need an opening act.

Maybe Cheney will be available to give hunting lessons.

Not hard to think of a few names of friends in the GOP (Guns Our Privilege) he can take with him along the Old Appalacian Trail.

In other political comedy news:
Georgia Rep. Paul Broun insulted President Obama.
Really? A Republican cracker from Georgia insulting the first African-American president.
What’s this country coming to?
Goobers like Broun are asking just that — and that’s why they want their country back.
Broun (pronounced Brown, but spelled differently than “that” color) compared Obama’s work on the health care bill to something Snooki from “Jersey Shore” would do.
There’s something new — a Georgia goober trying to be hip by bringing up a trendy youth-oriented TV “reality” series.”
Only one problem, cracker-barrel breath, in your post-it, lamebrain e-mail, you spelled Snooki’s name “Snookie.”
Hint of the century to those angry Twitternets and Web-sters: When insulting someone you don’t like because they aren’t blinded by the white, make sure you correctly spell the name of the famous person you’re using to set up as the brunt of your disdain.
If you have trouble remembering that, write it down first on the palm of your hand. That is, if your palm isn’t busy doing something else.
As for Mr. Broun, there’s two guys named “Guido” waiting to “talk” to you….

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