Educating Texas

A teacher in North Carolina writes the word “loser” on some of the assignments of his 11 and 12-year-old students —- and the parents are up in arms.

People, you live in North Carolina. John Edwards was once a senator from North Carolina. The word “loser” could be a popular surname in your state.

Meanwhile, in the Lone Star State (that’s right, one star out of a possible 10) the Texas School Board is gunning for a change in the curriculum.

Seems the powers that be want the little darlings to not study history, but rather be taught revisionist history.

Example: “The George W. Bush Presidency: One Good Year out of Eight ain’t bad.”

Students will learn the basics: Readin’ the National Review, Right wingin’ it, and Redneckin.’

For example: the Conferederate Presidency of Jefferson Davis will be taught as an alternative to that other presidency of that Abe Lincoln fella.

The words of Thomas Jefferson — you know, like the separation of church and state and that liberal manifesto called the Declaration of Independence — won’t be a part of the plan.

No child left behind in the Texas school system for sure.

Especially when they learn and study the history of the National Rifle Association.

Here are some of the courses the children in Texas could be learning:

1. Shootin’ ‘coons before they infest your neighborhoods.

2. Target practice from the Texas Bookstore Depository Building in Dallas.

3. The TV show “24″ will be considered required viewing in Texas schoolrooms as part of classes on documentary filmmaking.

4. Uncovering truths behind liberal cover-ups, like ‘Abe’ Lincoln was really a Jew.

5. Fox News classroom. The only TV channel available in schools.

6. Secession instead of recession.

7. Bullying Catholics.

8. Remember the Alamo —- Why Mexicans are not to be trusted, unless they’re preparing your food.

9. When you keep Jesus in schools, nobody fails.

10. God, guns and the Gatlin Brothers.

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