Tiger’s return

Tiger is clawing his way back into the good graces of the golfing profession.

There, the required Tiger Woods cliche has been duly noted.

If you’re in the media and talk or write about Tiger, it’s required that a pun of some sort on his name be registered.

Joseph Pulitzer be damned.

Do you really believe CBS, which will carry the Masters, or Cadillac, the golf classic’s sponsor, gives a mulligan about his personal life?

Cash beats punishing the cash cow for cheating. On the wife, that is.

The greatest golfer in the world —- maybe ever —- will return to the game in April at the Masters in Augusta.

Unless Leno link-blocks him.

The sport needs Tiger just as much, OK maybe more, than he needs golf.

Woods really doesn’t have to explain why he’s finally coming back —- he’s apologized in public (lately, apologizing seems to be the new definition of “manning up”).

But if there were other reasons why he’s decided to come back now, they might be something like these:

1. He’s worried Phil Mickelson might start scoring with all the golf groupies.

2. He hasn’t finished off anything significant involving 18 holes in months.

3. He watched all of the Lifetime Network “Men are such A-holes” movies at sex addiction rehab.

4. Golf takes up the time he doesn’t have time to spend taking time trying to win back his wife.

5. He wants to stick it to Gatorade.

6. He was holding out until Betty White finally secured a gig hosting “Saturday Night Live.”

7. It was either the Masters or three more weeks of apologizing on “Oprah.”

8. He couldn’t golf for months because wife had custody of his “lucky” putter.

9. No fire hydrants to maneuver on golf courses.

10. Couldn’t wear his Nike “Just Do It” T-shirt in sex addiction rehab.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>