Political punchlines

Two Republicans using donor money walked into a lesbian-themed strip bar ….

So begins the joke of the week. Punchlines are numerous but not for publication on this blog.

See what you can do by making up your own punchlines.

And devotees of Palin, Limbaugh and Beck, try to avoid something like this:

“Two Republicans using donor money walked into a lesbian-themed strip bar …. oh ya, so what — Obama’s a socialist who hates Jesus and his health care reform is going to bankrupt our children!”

Well, at least Republicans don’t always say “no” —- or, as they get angrier every day, “Hell no!”

Maybe that’s why some of them frequent strip clubs —- frustration.

Makes one yearn for the good old days when Republicans used to do things like lie to their wives by telling them they were hiking the Ol’ Appalacian Trail but were really in Argentina with their mistress — over Father’s Day weekend.

Just when you thought it was safe for Republicans to leave their association with sexual deviation behind comes this unfortunate true fact:

A legitimate GOP fundraising letter was sent to potential donors (ah-ha! More money for Mistress Medusa!) in Minnesota had a
1-800 phone number where to call to contribute.

Unfortunately, the phone number was incorrect. It was a sex hotline phone number.

If the Republican Party wasn’t so top heavy with hypocrites, one could almost feel sorry for them.

The same could be — and would be — said if these were Democrats who went through these unfortunate —- but nevertheless entertaining —- circumstances.

But this time it’s Republicans —- which proves members of that party are much more fun, and funnier.

Democrats are boring. If it wasn’t for the eight years of Bubba Clinton running wild with his pants down in the Oval Office, there would be nothing to show from those guys.

Jimmy Carter? Mr. Peanut? Comics had to pick on his brother Billy for laughs.

Republicans are naturally funny.

Ronald Reagan. Funny.

Gerald Ford. Seriously funny.

Even Richard Nixon launched a thousand ships of fools whose comic careers flourished.

Hubert Humphrey? Sure, funny name, but nothing there. Crickets could be heard when audiences were told a Humphrey joke.

Walter Mondale? Next.

Michael Dukakis. Snoopy in the tank is still pointed to as the dumbest thing a presidential candidate did to lose an election. Losing isn’t always as funny as it is weird.

Al Gore. The planet would melt before he could be funny.

John Kerry. A guy who looks like Mr. Ed couldn’t beat a guy who is a horse’s butt.

Comics still haven’t been able to have much fun with President Obama. Heck, last night David Letterman told an Obama joke and the punchline was about the president’s mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law jokes? What’s next, Dave, jokes about how bad the food is on airlines? What are you doing, conjuring up the dead bones of Catskills comic Alan King? Take my mother-in-law —- please!

Do we miss W. yet? You bet’cha.

That guy was punchline nirvana.

It’s not that Democrats don’t try: Joe Biden is a BFD when it comes to gaffes —- but he’s no Sarah Palin, who dominates the punchline hall of fame these days. Biden’s not even in the same hockey rink.

It used to be Democrats who had a firm grip on sexual misconduct. Maybe it’s the party not in power that gets in the most trouble anymore.

And it’s always fair game when the holier than thou get caught red-handed.

It’s not only politicians —- their devoted fan base who are angry and demanding are also easy targets for ridicule. Only because they believe they’re right and anyone who disagrees with them hates America.

How could anyone hate a country with such a melting pot of potential punchlines?

Come November, there could be a whole new batch of Republicans elected to come to Washington.

Maybe they out to change D.C.’s political moniker from the “Beltway” to “Burlesque.”

Republicans would prefer it be changed to the “Bible Beltway” —– but there’s just too many incidents with girls gone wild and politicians coming off like comics in baggy pants.

They could borrow them from GOP Sen. Scott “Cosmo Boy” Brown. He’s not wearing them anyway…..

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Political punchlines

  1. payday loans says:

    Pretty! This has been a really wonderful post. Thanks
    for providing these details. payday loans

  2. You’ve made some good points there. I looked on the internet for additional information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this website. http://www.textloans24.co.uk

  3. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who had been doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about this issue here on your site. more info…

  4. tv online says:

    Aw, this was a very nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a great article
    but what can I say I put things off a whole
    lot and don’t seem to get anything done. this website

  5. Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely feel this web site needs far more
    attention. Ill probably be back again to see more,
    thanks for the information! raspberry ketones reviews

  6. payday loans says:

    I used to be able to find good info from your blog articles.

    http://www.myquickloans.co.uk

  7. payday loans says:

    There is definately a lot to find out about this topic.
    I like all of the points you’ve made. http://quickloanuk.co.uk/

  8. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this blog.
    I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well.
    In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own, personal blog now ;) http:
    //www.paydayloanszap.co.uk/

  9. Good post! We will be linking to this particularly great
    post on our website. Keep up the good writing. www.
    thepaydayloansnocreditcheck.co.uk

  10. ppi claim says:

    Good info. Lucky me I came across your website by
    accident (stumbleupon). I have bookmarked it for later! ppi claim

  11. Bonuses says:

    Howdy! I simply want to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you’ve got right here on this post. I am coming back to your blog for more soon. watchtvonlineplus.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>