Rogue scholars

The Tea Party/Fox News presidential and vice presidential candidates for 2012 were together on Wednesday for one would hope not the last time. Humor-wise.

Sarah “Reload” Palin was campaigning for Minnesota Congresswoman Michele “They’re coming to take me away, ha! ha!” Bachmann in what could best be described as the beginning of a dumb and dumber friendship.

Bachmann is the looney tune famous for saying in 2009 that the Census was going to be conducted so the government could weed out the people that should be sent to internment camps.

Her slogan could be another brilliant phrase she said last year: that she wanted the people of Minnesota to be armed and dangerous.

Next to Bachmann, Palin looks like Abe Lincoln. Or maybe it’s Abe Vigoda.

Bachmann is this pint-sized holy terror that keeps espousing anti-government (she works and earns a good paycheck working in government) often treasonous bull-pukey that gets militia-minded citizens’ trigger fingers itchy.

Talk about your lipstick on a pit bull.

But Palin needs to be worried here. In their debut on stage entertaining but not talking about anything of substance, Bachmanm was out-fancy-pageant-walkin’ Palin. Sure the devoted Palintrons — mostly women, by the way — were enamoured by the presence of their God-fearin’ Goddess. Even Sean Hannity of the “Hope America Fails” so-called news network was feeling all gooey inside. This Palin groupie acted and look like a kid who got his first Barbie doll for Christmas.

In reality, though, Bachmann stole Palin’s thunder. For the first time the Alaskan Avalance of Awesomeness looked like she was in the role John McCain eventually started to play during the 2008 campaign when she stole the show from him.

Palin once again proved she doesn’t need no silly lookin’ teleprompter to read off of —- since she never talks about anything new. Bachmann doesn’t nee a teleprompter either, since she has all those voices in her head helping her through every speech.

With Palin, it’s always the same old Palin talking points:

1. Patriotism: Anybody who doesn’t agree with her or the Tea Party are anti-American because they support President Jesus Hater.

2. God: Anybody who isn’t conservative or doesn’t carry an “Obama is Hitler” or “Obamacare will kill granny” or “Congress hates Christianity” sign won’t get into Paradise because they’re not ready for the Rapture.

3. Guns: Obama wants to take away your guns (he’s never said that nor has he backed any legislation to do so.)

4. Hunting and fishing: For some reason, Palin keeps talking about outdoor activities as if the government wants to stop people from recreation. Most lawmakers are worthless at their jobs anyway and may as well have “gone fishing” on the doors to their offices.

5. Health care: The only real issue Palin will attempt to even talk about. And here it’s always the same old horse manure: scare the elderly who don’t care if their children or their children’s children get affordable health care because they’re (the elderly) are going to die soon. And not by government lethal injections at an internment camp.

In the 1952 Presidential election, Democratic candidate Adlai Stevenson’s slogan was “Eggheads Unite.”

Palin and Bachmann can use the slogan “Knuckleheads Unite.”

Since an ever-growing slice of the population continues to prove it’s not willing to be done with the dumb.

Fast forward to January 20, 2013, when President Palin and Vice President Bachmann are sworn in:

President Palin’s first piece of legislation she sends to Congress is that the president get paid for every speech she makes when she’s out in public.

Day two of the Palin-Bachmann administration: No day 2 —- the Rapture happens.

Finally, something Palin warned everyone about finally comes to pass.

It could only happen on her watch.

God would want it that way.

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