Mike the knife

Former presidential candidate and Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee compared same-sex marriage to legalizing incest, polygamy and drug use.

So name three other things there’s to do in a backwoods, uneducated Southern state like Arkansas?

Wait, that’s stereotyping. You can’t say things like that because it would be wrong.

Unless you’re a loser GOP candidate for president and a goober like Huckabee, who, “surprise! surprise! surprise!” has a weekly show on the “Hope America Fails” network, Fox News.

Huckabee also told college students in New Jersey that gays and lesbians should not be allowed to adopt, because their lifestyle is outside of what he called “the ideal.”

“Children are not puppies,” Huckabee said. He also said, “Marriage has historically never meant anything other than a man and a woman.”

Here, here.

But then he had to go further with: “Marriage has never meant two men, two women, a man and his pet, and a man and a whole herd of pets.”

Careful, Mikey, there’s that animal reference again.

First puppies. Then pets. Maybe you ought to change your name from Huckabee to Huckleberry — as in Huckleberry Hound.

Probably doesn’t like Tiger Woods either. Or Wolf Blitzer.

Some people just can’t be paper trained and so they end up leaving their waste all over the place.

It’s surprising that Huckabee didn’t try to keep “ideal” young people away from these movies that have titles that sound as if they may be gay-themed films, but are not:

1. “All the President’s Men”

2. “The African Queen”

3. “The Odd Couple”

4. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”

5. “Thelma and Louise”

6. “I Was a Male War Bride”

7. “Women in Love”

8. “Inside Man”

9. “Jules and Jim”

10. “Sister Act”

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