The Shrill of Victory

How to reel in the Sara-cuda for a speaking engagement:

1. Have a roundtrip commercial air travel for two paid for in advance

2. Have at least a$10,000 (bargain price)fee handy — payable in advance

3. Provide a one-bedroom suite with two single rooms in a deluxe hotel

4. Provide a laptop computer and printer (stocked with plently of paper)

5. Questions must be screened in advance (Gov. Quitter doesn’t improvise, since she says the same thing all the time)

6. A designated representative “shall ask questions directly to the speaker”

7. Have two bottles of water handy at the podium and, this is a must, with “bendable straws.”

What a diva.

What a prima donna.

What a money-maker. Palin can talk (well, shrill) the talk and she can walk the pageant walk.

Millions love her and she’s got the millions of dollars to back it up.

The Alaskan Avalance of Awesomeness has raked in about $12 million in speaking engagements and such since leaving office in the frozen tunda of Alaska for greener pastures.

How much did that Obama guy in our White House make last year? A measly $5.5 million. A pittance. Not real American dollars from real Americans.

Well, at least the lettuce is lining the salad bowel head of Palin instead of going to young Republicans who’ll just spend real Americans’ donor dollars on lap dances.

So tea baggers, keep hiring the Baked Alaskan to fire ya up ‘cos we’re gonna take this country back and get the government to stop thinkin’ about that hopey, changey business.

And how ya gonna do that, diva? By Republicans takin’ over in November? Then what?

You’ll have no act. Well no more novelty act anyway. You’re only talent (besides swindling money out of hard working people who are easily fooled by scam artists) is as a naysayer who riles up angry white people who believe the “socialist” in our White House is going to take away their guns and put their daughters in white slavery rings.

There should be a study done by medical professionals about the harm the continuous sound of hearing Palin shrill — like tires squealing —- could have on one’s health.

Those items up for bid from the Shrilla from Wasilla about how it’s gonna cost ya to hear her speechifyin’ —- they were on documents found in a trash container by students at Cal State Stanislaus. The documents were spelling out the conditions of her appearance at that school in June.

Appropriate the Palin documents were found in the garbage, since all the Baked Alaskan can do is talk trash.

Trash means cash in today’s America. Especially real America.

Look who’s making the most Benjamins in this country.

Now that should make ya angry.

Larry, the Cable News Guy

“Reno, Nevada. Hello!”

CNN talk show lizard man Larry King filed for divorce from his seventh wife.

That’s hard to believe.

Not that King is getting another divorce, but that there were actually seven women in the world that would marry him.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Taylor, a mighty fine actress in her day, was rumored to be getting married for the eighth time.

The stars are aligned here —– King and Taylor should get married.

“All my ex-wives, for the whole hour. Next.”

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