Chicken run

In the You Can’t Make This Stuff Up Department comes two outrageous news stories.

First, on our homefront:

Did you hear about the woman running against Harry “Droopy” Reid for his Senate seat in Nevada?

If that sounds like the start of a joke, wait for the punchline, which couldn’t be made up by a room full of comedy writers.

The Republican candidate for Nevada Senate, Sue Lowden, suggested that the health care system can be redesigned by using the bartering system.

Fair enough. But what things could a patient use to barter with a doctor for health care treatment?

Why, chickens, of course, Lowden said.

The plucky candidate said she won’t back down from the comment, after she was criticized and ridiculed by her critics.

So she was left with egg on her face.

When given the opportunity to retract it, she still wouldn’t chicken out.

Anyway, Lowden is the newest yoke, uh, joke in the long line of would-be lawmakers who want to be included in the pecking order in the Senate.

But she can do all the squawking —- she’s ahead of Reid in Nevada polls by as much as 10 percent.

For now.

This is the kind of gaffe that can last until the November election. Imagine the jokes that will be made in campaign ads against her.

The blogosphere is already cackling:

‘Chickens for Checkups’ Site Launched.

‘Barter economics hatched in Nevada.’

Lowden better not pull (pullet?) a Martha Coakley —- the Massachusetts Dem candidate who was so far ahead of Scott Brown in the race for Teddy Kennedy’s Senate seat, she took a vacation.

Then Brown kept campaigning and the majority of votes went to his column to roost.

Lowden won’t pull a Coakley —- but she better not get too comfortable sitting on that lead.

In short, Lowden better not count her chickens before they hatch.

The second story is even more ridiculous: It comes from that whacky world of Iran.

Last week an insane cleric (is there any other kind in Iraq?) said women are to blame for earthquakes.

Not just any women —- women of, shall we say, easy virture.

You know, women who “do not dress modestly.” The ones who show their faces in public.

This lunatic maintains that women who lead men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society” are the cause of earthquakes.

Maybe that explains where the phrase “did the earth move for you, too?” originated.

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