Robin in the ‘Hood

The battle of the summer blockbuster movies started last weekend when “Iron Man 2″ forged gold at the box office.

It remains to be seen if, starting today, the latest incarnation of “Robin Hood” could benefit from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

“Robin Hood” will try to steal from the riches of “Iron Man 2″ at the box office and give to the poor producers so that the movie corporation will at least recoup the money it took to make the epic.

The two blockbusters will have some time to make the big bucks before “Sex and the City 2″ invades action-flick territory (that will be a good time for getting the wives out of the house so husbands can watch porn at home.)

Leno has already kissed up to the stars of “Iron Man 2″ and “Robin Hood.” Next week the Conan Destroyer will be chatting it up with Sarah Jessica Parker when she pitches “Sex and the City 2.” Listen for when Jawman tells her and the audience drool like, “I … I really bought into this movie. I .. I really think guys will like it, too.”

Here kitty, kitty….

The latest “Robin Hood” will no doubt be compared to “Braveheart” and “Gladiator” — especially when our hero is ready to lead his band of Merry Men into battle and delivers the all-too-familiar “They’ll not take our freedom!” chant.

Robin Hood has been a favorite character of lore for the screen to remake time and again. Director Ridley Scott has a great track record with “Blade Runner” the first “Alien” and the aforementioned “Gladiator.”

But there had to be some scenes that were edited for time, as well as to secure a PG-13 rating. Henceforth, here’s a list of scenes from “Robin Hood” that were left on the cutting-room floor:

1. The night Maid Marion discovered why Robin Hood’s nemesis-turned-BFF is called Little John.

2. Sheriff of Nottingham arresting illegal aliens trying to sneak into Sherwood Forest without the proper papers.

3. The Merry Mens’ salute in song and dance to Liza Minnelli.

4. A drunken Robin Hood continuously mispronouncing Friar Tuck.

5. Robin’s tryst with history’s first cougar, played by Betty White.

6. Robin and his warriors attacking the castle of Goldman-Sachs.

7. Cameo appearance by Alec Baldwin. Really, does this guy have to show up everywhere?

8. Hilarious “Hangover”-type scene where a naked guy is flung from a catapult at the castle.

9. Robin and his band of Merry Men are vegetarians, until they meet up with wandering minstrel Todd of Palin, who teaches them to kill and eat wildlife instead of cavorting with the critters like they were in a damn fruity Disney movie.

10. Alternative ending to the movie to make way for the sequel: Robin fires the Merry Men, gets even angrier over taxation, forms the Tea Bagging Party and fights to oust the socialist Dark Knight.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Robin in the ‘Hood

  1. When I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails
    with the exact same comment. Is there an easy method you are able to remove me from that service?
    Appreciate it! payday loans

  2. Excellent post! We will be linking to this great article on our site.
    Keep up the great writing. raspberry ketones

  3. click here says:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this article and the rest of the website is also really good.

  4. click says:

    Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this particular one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I genuinely thought you’d have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you were not too busy searching for attention. instant cash loans

  5. After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the
    -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I recieve
    4 emails with the same comment. There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service?
    Thank you! payday loans 1 hour uk

  6. I love it when people come together and share thoughts. Great
    website, stick with it! quick loans

  7. I was pretty pleased to uncover this web site. I need to
    to thank you for your time just for this wonderful read!
    ! I definitely savored every part of it and i also have you book marked to look at new things on your blog.
    quick loans

  8. ppi claim says:

    Im impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog thats both equally educative and amusing, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail
    on the head. The issue is something not enough folks are speaking intelligently about.

    I’m very happy that I found this during my hunt for something regarding this. payment protection insurance on hold

  9. This Site says:

    This page certainly has all the information I wanted concerning this subject and didnt know who to
    ask. nbc

  10. tv live says:

    Im amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I encounter
    a blog thats both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you,
    you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that too few people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I came across this during my hunt for something concerning this. watch movies online

  11. There are more fun facts about these scheme. Most people help
    you adhere to your needs while in any time to the month. If for
    you are currently focusing and have each bank account, a person will could get prompt approval quickly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>