A president and a king

Mexico’s Presidente Felipe Calderon spoke before a joint session of Congress on Thursday morning saying comprehensive immigration reform is crucial to securing the two countries’ common border.

Calderon also said that the new Arizona immigration law “ignores a reality that cannot be erased by decree.”

Pretty important news, since the immigration issue is the new health care reform debate.

Maybe the Baked Alaskan herself could find a way to incorporate “death panels” into this polarizing issue, too.

You would think the major cable news networks would’ve covered Calderon’s speech as it happened on Capitol Hill.

The news networks did. The “Hope America Fails” so-called news network, Fox Noose, did not.

Shocking. Not to worry, Foxholes, your only source for misguided information will have it covered later —- after the negative and fear-mongering talking points are handed down from Murdoch and Limbaugh and regurgitated by the likes ofBeckerwood and Insanity.

While Calderon was speaking live to Congress, Fox may as well have said “Coverage? We don’t need to show you no steenkin’ coverage.”

Meanwhile, members of the party Fox News controls, the Republicans, had to show up on Capitol Hill for the speech. But one would expect they weren’t paying much attention because they’re going to say no to everything anyway.

So here’s what could likely have been overheard by Republicans during Calderon’s speech:

1. “How do you say ‘You lie!’ in Mexican?”

2. “It’d be funny if we could get Calderon to say, “Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!’ “

3. “Who do you have in the pool as the next family values Republican to get caught in an extramarital affair?”

4. “Did you remember to put gin in Pelosi’s water?”

5. “Whoa! I shouldn’t have had that third Crispy Creme donut with my coffee —- I thought I saw Michele Bachmann’s head spin completely around.”

6. “Message from Fearless Leader: Rush says if this guy stays true to his hot-headed Latin temper he can call him ‘Bubbling Calderon.’ “

7. “Wow! Lindsay Lohan didn’t show up for her court appearance today!”

8. “Is it true Arlen Specter’s gonna appear on the last episode of ‘Lost’?”

9. “That reminds me, it’s taco night at the Capitol Lounge.”

10. “Hear about that rodent that scurried in front of Obama in the Rose Garden. That Cheney, what a prankster.”

When Larry met Jagger

“Brown Sugar, Iowa. Hello!”

Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones was interviewed the other night by Larry King.


Guess wild horses couldn’t drag him away.

Dumb questions Larry asked Mick that were edited from the broadcast:

1. “Has any of The Rolling Stones ever gathered any moss?”

2. “Do you still have sympathy for the devil?”

3. “Are you finally able to get some satisfaction?”

4. “Was there any conflict when the group replaced Pete Best with Ringo?”

5. “Is it just me or have others mistaken you for Don Knotts?”

6. “Be honest, who looks more like death warmed over, me or Keith Richards?”

7. “Was Marianne always Faithful?”

8. “Speaking of babes, I’m looking for wife number 9. Any suggestions?”

9. “How did you guys come up with the title of your album ‘Sticky Fingers’?”

10. “Whattaya think of this for a title of the interview? ‘From your lips to my ears.’ “

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