Cartoon conservatrons

Arizona Gov. Jan “Border Collie” Brewer is behind a new public service ad running in her state that’s trying to drum up support for the tough new illegal immigration law. It features a frog puppet singing to get the point across.

You can even follow the bouncing ball to sing along to the words.

Using a Kermit rip-off in a “Sesame Street” format urging lawmakers and real people to at least read the provisions of the law begs the question not are you smarter than a fifth-grader, but rather do you have the attention span of a pre-schooler.

Maybe Republicans can take a page from Brewer’s genius and adopt it to other major issues they want their devoted public to support. Like using rip-off Bert and Ernie puppets to warn civilization about the blasphemy that is same-sex marriage.

Rumor has it that Brewer wanted Speedy Gonzales to do the immigration public service announcement, but the Merrie Melodies star couldn’t break his contract with Warner Bros. cartoons.

Speaking of looney tunes, Republicans need to get on the same page as to how they’re going to keep blaming President Obama for the major oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Rand (“I gotta problem with civil rights, you gotta problem with that!”) Paul called the president un-American for tagging BP — British Petrolium — with too much of the blame and wanting the big oil corporation to foot the bill for the disaster.

Paul is a Libertarian-Tea Party-Republican. Maybe he could settle on one new political party — instead of the GOP, Paul and others in his party who feel the pain of Big Oil can start saying thy’re affiliated with the GO(BP).

Meanwhile, the Baked Alaskan herself babbled in on the subject — probably days after being rehearsed by Fox Noose — saying that maybe someone (besides Fox) should check into why Obama is letting BP stay afloat of fixing the disaster it created.

The Banshee of Babbling On shrilled something to the tune of Obama is letting BP slide because it contributed a lot of money to his presidential campaign.

If the truth be told (which you could find if you watch anything else but Fox Noose) is that the McCain-Palin ticket in 2008 received more money — in fact over $1 million more — from Big Oil than did team Obama-Biden.

Once again, somebody at Fox didn’t do the diva’s homework for her.

That would involve research.

Then again, Palin’s definition of the word research is to look again for some thingy you misplaced.

Keep your toxic mouth shut on this issue, Ms. Drill, baby, drill.

And what’s all this malarkey about Obamament taking over from Big Oil to fix the mess?

Government taking over this, too? Where’s them dang tea baggers in all of this?

Oh, ya, we’re not hearing much from them on this issue.

Come to think of it, that’s a blessing in disguise.

But the tea baggers are up in arms over one of their own — or one they thought they created like so much Frankenstein.

Their newest target: Massachusetts Sen. Scott “Cosmo Boy” Brown. You know, the Miracle in Massachusetts male model whom the tea baggers think they got elected.

Well, Scotty done bad —- he went and voted with the demonic Democrats for financial reform — you know, the bill that would seek to keep tabs on the Wizards of Wall Street.

Just like Big Oil, the tea baggers, who are really just lunatic fringe right-wing Republicans, are in the underpants of the Goldman-Sachs and the AIGs of their promised land.

The word from the tea baggers is they put Brown in office and come time for him to run again they can “take him out.”

There they go again using a phrase that can also be used as a threat of violence.

“Mama Told Me They Were Bums” (sung to the tune “Mama Told Me Not to Come,” by Three-Dog Night):

“What’s that Scott Brown thinkin’ votin’ for fiscal responsibility?

He’s startin’ to look like he’s not their cup of Tea.

This is the craziest political party that could ever be.

Lunatics will be running the asylum when they take back their country.

“Mama told me they were bums—

Mama told me they were bums —-

She said, listen to where these bozos are coming from, son.

Listen to where they’re coming from.”

(Second verse)

“Open up Pandora’s box and release all that white rage.

They got Fox News putting everything they do center stage.

Even though taxes went down for everyone in 2009

They’ll bamboozle simple minds every single time.

“Mama told me they were bums.

Mama told me they were bums.

She said, don’t let your brain go numb, son.

Don’t let your brain go numb…

Mama told me….

Mama told me….”

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