Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t drill

Republicans are getting into their “just say no to everything” mode again.

This time they threaten to vote against funding for the Pentagon if the “don’t ask, don’t tell” issue of gays in the military is repealed.

Democratic Congressman Patrick Murphy of Pennsylvania is sponsoring the measure to repeal DADT, but Republicans are having none of “Murphy’s Law.”

So, Republicans want to weaken our defense by not funding the Pentagon because they’re concerned that the military might enlist a guy who owns more than one Barbra Streisand album, or a woman who collects Georgia O’Keeffe paintings because she sees more than flowers in the artist’s work.

Republicans aren’t so much against gays in the military as they are against the White House wanting to repeal the military law before the end of the year.

In any case, conservatives can argue DADT all they want —- just for sake of irony, though, don’t have as one of your spokesmen Dick Armey.

Just the same, conservatives are pretty sensitive about the issue. In fact, they probably get nervous just by hearing these song titles:

1. “All the Young Dudes”

2. “A Boy Named Sue”

3. “The Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys”

4. “How Deep is Your Love”

5. “Tutti Fruitti”

6. “The Man that Got Away”

7. “Dancing Queen”

8. “Losing My Religion”

9. “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy from Company C”

10. “Ballin’ the Jack”

Meanwhile back at the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico……

Now those anti-government whiners want the government to step in and take over for BP and clean up the catastrophe.

These cry-babies are the same people who complain that there’s too much negative news on TV and in newspapers. That the media always dwells on disasters. These are the same goons who almost cause accidents on the road because they slow down to gawk at a bad traffic accident on the other side of the freeway.

President Obama will make an appearance at the site of his “Katrina” on Friday.

Don’t know what Joe Cool can do to ease concerns of a public that, like him, want to “plug the damn hole already.”

After all, Obama can’t perform miracles. That’s below the pay grade of an antichrist.

Here are some top secret things the government is hiding from the public that could kill the spill:

1. Obama can part the Gulf of Mexico

2. Four words: Frogmen with super powers

3. Release the Kraken

4. Bottle it and make a profit on it, this is America, people. Call it the Gulf Gulp. Sell it at 7-11.

5. Let it go, it’s like a day at the beach in Mississippi anyway..

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