Rush Limbaugh, the defacto leader of the Republican Party and universal babe magnet, got married for the fourth time over the weekend.
Or as Fox News referred to it, America’s Royal Wedding.
Which explains why the usual court jesters to the throne of the King of Disdain —– Sean Hannity, Karl Rove and Rudy 9-11 —- were ringside.
What is baffling —- besides the fact that any woman who wasn’t brainwashed by a cult would marry Limbaugh — is that Elton John performed at the reception.
Because, you know, when you think of Rush Limbaugh you automatically think of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.”
There’s got to be a YouTube video out there somewhere that shows Rudy 9-11 in drag as Lady Gaga performing a duet with Elton on “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.”
Things said by guests at the reception:
1. “If he held out a little longer, Rush could’ve started wooing Tipper Gore.”
2. “They met by chance. She earns a living packing cotton in oxycontin bottles.”
3. “Palin’s not here — heard she wanted her standard speaking fee of 25 grand just to propose the toast.”
4. “Why is Glenn Beck shoving cold cuts down the front of his pants?”
5. “Whoa! What did they put in this punch?! I swear I saw Michele Bachmann’s head spin completely around and her forked tongue snatch flys out of mid-air!”
6. “Didn’t Karl Rove make a cuddly looking little ring bearer.”
7. “It’s going to be a working honeymoon for Rush. So it was a nice gesture from Gov. Sanford to invite the new Mrs. Rush to go hiking the Old Appalacian Trail.”
8. “I haven’t seen anything this wild since that photo shoot of soldiers posing with butt-nekkid prisoners at Abu Ghraib.”
9. “They wanted to honeymoon in Mexico, but Rush couldn’t fit through the fence.”
10. “It’s Rush’s favorite drink. Try one. It’s called a “Russian Schwing!” It’s made with vodka and Viagra.”