White House Press Secretary Robert “Glib” Gibbs stepped in it on one of the Sunday talk shows last week when he admitted that the Democrats could lose control of the House to Republicans come the November election.
The comment made House Speaker Nancy Pelosi so mad she almost changed her facial expression. Worse, she had to cancel her botox treatment appointment.
What could’ve been Gibbs’ reasoning for making that statement? Well, maybe…..
1. Democrats historically are successful at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory —- they want to maintain consistency.
2. Democrats look forward to being minority party again so they can start the wimpy alternative energy Green Tea Party.
3. Democrats look forward to seeing if the GOP, Fox News, Lush Rimbaugh and the Baked Alaskan still have an act when they can’t gripe and scare America as easily when they’re in charge.
4. Have the majority, but can’t get things passed —- too intimidated by Orrin Hatch.
5. Two treasure chests were placed in a huge fish tank. One was marked “Democrats” — but Paul the Octopus, the mollusk that predicted victories in the World Cup soccer events, including the ultimate winner, Spain, picked the other treasure chest marked “GOP.”
Paul the Octopus could’ve probably predicted the sports awards winners on Wednesday when ESPN telecasted its Espy awards, which honored the best in sports over the past year.
Not surprisingly, the Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints cleaned up.
The Espys also went overboard trying to make winners out of the U.S. men’s soccer team, who were eliminated relatively early on, but are somehow continually treated as winners for “making the country proud.” Give them a hand, ah, never mind, they don’t use their hands.
“Saturday Night Live” ‘Weekend News anchor Seth Meyers was emcee of the telecast — and he scored big time with his monologue.
Turns out he had some easy targets — athletes are in the same league as entertainers because they have the same capacity to mess up or do something out of the ordinary or controversial. In short, you can kick ’em when they’re up as much as you can when they’re down.
From LeBron James’ move from Cleveland to Miami (Myers: “Cleveland, you have the word “leve” in your name”) to Tiger Woods’ wife being the free agent who will make the most money this year, to the Espys themselves (Meyers: “The Espys combine sports and entertainment — just like a Kardasian sisters’ bedroom”) Meyers proved he has a future hosting awards shows. Except maybe the Tonys, which is the antithesis of the Espys.
Missing at the Espys:
1. Rush Limbaugh. The Espys are his worst nightmare (aside from no refills for his oxycontin.) Why? Do you have to ask —– there’s a whole auditorium full of millionaire African-American athletes.
2. Former Vice President Dick Cheney. No, not because the Espys disqualified enhanced interrogation and shooting your friend in the face while quail hunting as sports categories. No, Dick was missing because he had life-saving heart surgery last week —- and the media didn’t even know about him going under the knife. Still another secret Sarah Palin wasn’t let in on. The old codger is doing well and will be up and snearing again before you know it. By the way, pretty darn good health care plan, huh Dick?
3. Looney tune Minnesota Republican Congresswoman Michele “They’re coming to take me away, ha! ha!” Bachmann. At the last minute she realized that she was going to speak at the wrong forum to push her theory that “Obama is turning America into a nation of slaves.”
4. Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle. A no-show because, unlike her running to unseat Senate Majority Leader Harry “Droopey” Reid in Nevada, going to the Espys wasn’t her “calling — a path laid out by God.”
5. Mel Gibson. Wanted to be the emcee, but insulting and demeaning every ethnic group represented in the audience? Mel needs work, but remakes are not part of the deal.