President Obama turned 49 today.
Ya, that’s what his fake birth certificate says.
His “born in Kenya birth certificate” says he’s 33 —– hold on! You have to be 35 years old to legally run or be president. So the “birthers” can be joined by the “agers” and double-team on still another obnoxious theory.
(Sidebar: Tonight on Fox: Gay marriage ban overturned in California. On Obama’s birthday. Coincidence? We report. You Decide.”)
For Obama’s big day:
1. There will not be a birthday bash at Madison Square Garden where Lady Gaga will sing “Happy birthday, Mr. President….”
2. VP Joe Biden will show up again this year in the Oval Office as a singing telegram —- only this time not as Barney but as one of the goombahs from “Jersey Shore.”
3. Unlike last year, Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will not be jumping out of the birthday cake.
4. The Salahis are invited only because they’d crash it anyway.
5. NFL quarterback Brett Favre was invited. He said he was going to show. Then he said he wasn’t going to show. Then he said he was. Then he said he wasn’t going to show….. Then he said….
Wonder what kinds of birthday cards the prez received and who sent them? Maybe they might read something like this:
1. From the Republican Party:
“So now you’re 49,
next year you’ll be 50.
maybe by then you won’t tax and spend
and be a lot more thrifty.”
2. From Glenn Beck:
“I didn’t get your a present
or a birthday cake.
And I did so for the Lord’s sake.
But here’s a card anyway
‘cos even Hitler had a birthday.”
3. From Bill Clinton:
“Here’s to the leader of the free world,
on his special day.
Been there, done that
and I did it my way.
Party hearty — be a real guy.
If Hillary asks where I’ve been,
can you stake me to an alibi?”
4. From George W. Bush:
“Merry birthday Barack ol’ pal
I’d join you in a toast
but I quit drinkin.’
I see they’re misunderestimatin’ you, too —-
now you know why I stopped thinkin.’ “
5. From Sarah Palin:
“I didn’t know socialists
but then I only repeat what they tell me.
You turned your back on big business
now Madison Avenue wants to sell me.
Party with your terrorist pals and Muslims,
go ahead, see if I care.
I’m getting so powerful everday
even I think I’m growing a pair.”