Annoying celebrity rehab

Leave Snooki alone!

The “Jersey Shore” bombshell faces a new charge because of her recent behavior at a beach last month.

The charge: annoying people.

Snooki could be fined $500.

Her defense could be if you weren’t an over-exposed annoying celebrity, you wouldn’t be on TV.

Next up: Rehab for annoying celebrities. They could build the site for the annoying celebrity flavor of the month at the site near ground zero instead of that pesky mosque.

You might be thinking, if that’s the case, why hasn’t Glenn Beck already beencommitted?

Fox Fabricated News’ Minister of Propaganda is staging some kind of anti-diversity, let’s take our white country back event in D.C. on Aug. 28 —- the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech.

Here’s what Beck’s speech could be coined:

“I have a messiah complex.” Beck was bragging that all the motels and hotels are booked that weekend, so he’s anticipating something like his being the second coming.

Gives new meaning to the phrase no room at the inns.

“It’s like we’re the baby Jesus,” Beck told his disciples of the delusional.

A double-whammy award for Goebbels Beck: He’s not only annoying, but messianic, too.

Now don’t be sending Rod Blagojevich to jail, but to annoying celebrity (in Blago’s case, celebrity wannabe) rehab.

Other candidates for annoying celebrity rehab:

1. Levi Johnston: You could trick him into checking himself in by telling him he’ll be cast in the new movie “Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Alaskan.”

2. Anybody who has ever found 15 minutes of fame on “American Idol.”

3. Celebrity cable news on-air personalities who over-use the words or phrases: “disconnect,” “at the end of the day.” “(so-and-so) threw (so-and-so) under the bus,” “slippery slope,” and “a teachable moment.

4. Since every rehab needs a celebrity “doctor” the only candidate could be Dr. Laura. She can whine about how her First Amendment right of freedom of speech was infringed upon (as all conservatrons like to cry about whenever they’re caught on tape being downright racist.) She could conduct seminars on why her First Amendment right of freedom of speech is somehow more important than Muslim-Americans to have their First Amendment right of freedom of religion stigmatized to create mass hysteria.

Dr. Laura willsupervise all discussion groups. The only caveat: She won’t be allowed to use any words that begin with the letter ‘N.”

5. Normally the Baked Alaskan herself would be included at annoying celebrity rehab. But she’s too far above just being a candidate. So she’ll run the place (for two years before quitting.) For a fee. A very large fee. And Sarah Palin will have the center named after her: Mama Grizzly’s Den of Demagogues.

Which brings us back to Snooki (if only for a transition to an ending.)

She and the man who lost the presidency to Barack Obama chitty-chatty on Facebook —- mostly about tanning salons.

Former war hero turned coward Arizona Sen. John McCain —- echoing the talking points from conservative columnists and other media nosebleeds —- said Thursday that former President George W. Bush deserves the credit for the U.S. combat mission ending in Iraq, resulting in those battle-weary soldiers returning home.

That’s like giving credit to Gen. Custer for the Battle of Little Big Horn.

McCain used to be right —– well, right of center. Then he was seduced by the lunatic right wing.

The fringe was successful at brainwashing the old coot —- something the Viet Cong couldn’t do all those years he was a prisoner of war.

Be careful, you could be next…..Barack Obama is a Muslim ….. by jove, you’ve got it!

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