Entertaining the masses

Some movies stand above the rest because of a combination of memorable dialogue, scenes and performances. All cylinders are clicking. Think “Casablanca,” “The Godfather” and even “The Wizard of Oz.”

On the flip side, there are dubious achievement awards for movies that are memorable for being major flops. Think “Heaven’s Gate,” “Howard the Duck” and “Ishtar.”

Then there are movies that become part of the American lexicon just by virtue of their titles. But that distinction is pure fodder for comedians. “Brokeback Mountain” was a perfect example a few years back.

This year comics are getting a lot of mileage taking off on the title of the latest Julia Roberts chick flick vehicle “Eat Pray Love.”

David Letterman joked that there was going to be a movie made about the salmonella egg outbreak called “Eat Pray Vomit.”

OK, a bit on the gross side. Here are some other examples of movies with a take on the “Eat Pray Love” movie title:

1. Glenn Beck in “Eat Pray to Me”

2. The lunatic right wing’s version: Barack Obama in “Eat Halal Never Pray and Love to Tax and Spend.”

3. Levi Johnston in “Eat Pray I don’t knock-up Bristol again.”

4. Paris Hilton in “Eat Then Barf it Up Get Some Mook to Pay for Cocaine and Love the Fact I’ll get off without doing time.”

5. Propagandist influence on paranoid Americans presents: “Muslims Don’t Pray Here.”

6. Sarah Palin in “Eat Endangered Species I Shoot Pray You have enough money to Pay for one of my speeches Love I Can Fool some of the People all of the Time.”

7. The Captain and Tennille in “Eat Pray Love Will Keep Us Together.”

8. The Chicago Cubs in “Eat Pray Lose all of the Time.”

9. Dick Cheney in “Can only Eat Baby Food now Pray I Never Get in Power Again Love is for Sissies.”

10. Ken Mehlman in “Eat Pray Come Out Gay.” Who is Ken Mehlman, you ask?

Kenny was the GOP for George W.’s re-election campaign in 2004.

This is significant because the main cultural issue that year was anti-gay marriage.

So polarizing was the issue in 2004, it was credited for W. carrying Ohio and getting him re-elected.

And the rest is dubious history.

Looks like Kenny wasn’t only living a lie as far as his sexual preference is concerned, but his political hypocracy as well.

“Eat Pray Stay in the Closet until Your Boss is re-elected.”

Meanwhile on the TV side of entertaining America, the Emmys were handed out on Sunday. You can tell the Emmys are for television, because they had repeats.

How many times can that guy who plays a meth dealer on “Breaking Bad” win best actor in a drama? OK, three years in a row. Hello, TV academy, he’s playing the same character, we get it, it’s a good character. But two words: “House” “Dexter.” There’s two interesting characters with a lot of something else going on in their lives.

Jimmy Fallon scored as host, especially in the opening number performing his own take on The Boss’ “Born to Run” with cast members of “Glee” and the great Tina Fey.

Best choice: “Mad Men” for best drama. OK. OK. It’s a three-peat, but it’s also the best shown on no-pay TV.

Worst selection: Best reality TV show: “Top Chef.” But then again, how can there even be an award for reality TV? Given “The Situation,” where was the award for “Jersey Shore.” Whattaya expect, there were no bubbies with blowouts at the Emmys.

Overheard in the audience and backstage at the Emmys:

1. “This is the Emmys? It looks more like the Tonys.”

2. “Betty White groped me!”

3. “Dr. Kevorkian is in the audience? I thought he was going to narrate the dead celebrity montage. Forget that, I thought he was going to be in the dead celebrity montage.”

4. “Can’t wait until next year when Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston compete for the Emmy for best reality TV show.”

5. “Forget who will win what —- the real entertainment is backstage: There’s a catfight between Neal Patrick Harris and that guy who created “Glee.”

6. “OK, my series only lasted seven episodes, so why was it passed over for a nomination as best miniseries?”

7. “Kevorkian keeps passing out his business card to the older actors.”

8. “What’s it tell you about the state of television when Jane Lynch’s character is the most macho?”

9. “Leno wasn’t nominated because he was uncontested in the category for biggest waste of a 10 p.m. time slot.”

10. “Al Bundy got another TV show?”

From the sublime to the ridiculous: Glenn Beck’s “Triumph of the Shrill” in Washington, D.C., on Saturday.

The Minister of Propaganda who speaks to God (and gets answers) held a “Goosestep on Washington” in which thousands of Beckerwoods followed like good little bundists.

The only thing missing was Leni Riefenstahl (Google her) directing this mass hysteria against diversity.

This shameless nosebleed had the nerve to host what he called “Restore Honor in America.”

How dare this demagogue who dumps on democracy claim that there is no honor in America.

Who does he think he is, Jesus? Well, ya. A week or so before his extravaganza of hate disguised as patriotism, this weenie told his faithful that all the hotels and motels in Washington were booked because he was coming to speak. “We’re like the baby Jesus,” he blasphemed.

The ravenous wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The Gospel of Religion as Politics According to Beck.

No one could shut this diarrhea of the mouth up. Because he has a right to assemble. To speak his fervent nonsense.

We as Americans honor that even if we disagree with it. Especially if we disagree with it. That’s honor in America for you, nosebleed. The same right that you have and exploited to massage your own ego is the same rights you deny Americans who disagree with you. Who aren’t Republicans. Who aren’t conservatives. Who aren’t Christians.

Before you preach your crapola about restoring honor to America, first stop dishonoring those who have the right to ignore every word you utter, and rail against your hypocrasy and McCarthyism.

You want to make some of us even consider trying to take you seriously? Try one time using this sentence: “But enough about me.”

Overheard in the crowd of thousands of Beckerwoods in D.C.:

1. “Is this the Springsteen concert?”

2. “I feel naked without my “Obama is Hitler” sign.”

3. “If Beck is Jesus, does that make Palin Mary Magdeline?”

4. “Damn, the unemployment line keeps getting longer!”

5. “I heard Beck is going to walk across the Reflecting Pool.”

6. “Betty White groped me!”

7. “I’m here ‘cos I heard it’s the best place to pick up disgruntled women.”

8. “Don’t get too much sun or the media will think we’re at the Al Sharpton rally.”

9. “For refreshments there’s moonshine and goobers!”

10. “Relax honey. Hold it in. You can do it. Look at Glenn Beck, he’s still yakking and he’s full of …..”

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One Response to Entertaining the masses

  1. norman says:

    Several funny shots at Obama, what do you really think about the guy.

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