The bonfire of his vanity

“There’s something happening here but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones.”

— “Ballad of a Thin Man” by Bob Dylan

That nosebleed Florida pastor, Terry Jones, has held America hostage long enough.

Time for cable TV news to stop giving this snake-oil salesman coverage like he somehow holds the end of days in the sweaty palms of his hands.

His off-again, on-again plans to get the media to cover his burning of Korans should be doused.

The Bonfire of his Vanity.

This flim-flam man backed down — but for what reason?

Was it the phone call from Defense Secretary Robert Gates?

Or because The Baked Alaskan tweeted something like: Hokey-smokes, that’s like sort of a y’know unnecessary provocation, fella.”

It would be more fun to think that this bozo was told not to ignite his passion when he was visited Thursday morning by the FBI. You can just hear those agents now: “We’ve got pictures of you with — whatever we decide to photo-shop — in uncompromising positions and we will release them if you carry out your little media stunt.”

So it came to pass that this twisted weasel hadto save face. He needed a good reason why he had to cop out of his grand design.

What did he come up with? The Imam lied when hepromised he would move the proposed mosque site near ground zero if Jones didn’t burn the Korans.

Suddenly the mosque became part of the equation. Now wherever did that con artist/zealot come up with that?

The answer is as plain as that muskrat-looking thing on his face: Why Fox Fabricated News, of course. “We incite. You react.” It was the Foxholes who ignited the mosque controvery, thanks to infidelity aficianadoes like Newt “All Muslims are Nazis” Gingrich. And it was the Foxholes who put the potential torch in Jones’ greasy little hands.

Now Fox is saying, “Huh? What? Us? No way, we moved on to the next minority group we’re planning on getting people riled up over. Stay tuned.”

In fact, Fox said it wouldn’t cover the Koran-burning should it take place.

Wimps.

However, the Foxholes came up with the perfect lie to help Jones save face: the Imam lied to him about making that mosque-move to avoid Koran burning deal.

The ol’ bait-and-switch.

Jones may be a carnival side-show freak, but he’s a rank amateur compared to the evil geniuses at Fox Fabricated News.

Once again they found a way to save their face and that of their imbecile of a creation who follows their every scathing comment.

But Jones’ excuse about the mosque-for-burning Korans lie was forshadowed: Sarah Palin and John”Bad Tan” Boehner only a day before said drool like: It’s not a good idea to burn the Korans, just like it’s a bad idea to build that mosque near ground zero.

Jones wasn’t lied to. The American people were. It’s the Fox Big Lie —- and the Bigger the Lie the more people will eventually believe it.

Turn the tables on the Muslims again. Real Cold War, McCarthy stuff. Except for one thing: It’s got Fox Fabricated’s slime marks all over it — and it was easy to spot.

Better round up more G. Gordon Liddy types, Rupert. The slimeballs you’ve got devising this stuff are starting to come off as predictable.

The Fox Fabricated News Playbook: You can’t tell the enemy without a scorecard.

You too can be a team player. ‘Cos at Fox Fabricated, even if you can’t play sports you can still be an athletic supporter.

Game on, Beckerwoods.

About that Pastor Disaster:

1. Now that he’s got media attention, how about a TV reality show? Ya, he could host the show “America’s got Ignorance.”

2. Now that he’s been exposed, he’s trying to make America believe he wasn’t saying burn copies of the Koran, but burn copies of albums by Duran Duran.

3. Still has leftover food from 1969 in his handlebar moustache that he can’t get out and it’s driving him crazy.

4. Thought his media stunt could even land him a movie contract —- would even consider changing his name to Charlatan Heston.

5. Has to prove his whackaloon-ness before he can become a bonafide Tea Party candidate.

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