The Grand Ole Party’s over

Not even common sense can trump anger this election year.

Another Tuesday night primary. Another round of whackaloons pulling upsets.

Just don’t say “pulling upsets” or pulling anything to Tea Party Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell. But more about that — and her — later.

The Republican Party’s over. Time to call it a day. As of Tuesday night, the party of Lincoln has officially become the playground of Rush Limbaugh and Fox Fabricated News.

Not right wing-nut enough to be in the GOP anymore? You say you’re a moderate Republican? Nice knowin’ ya, Sparky.

This is the year of women in politics. Republican women. Sometimes looney tune Tea Party/GOP/Fox candidates.

O’Donnell becomes the perfect bookend to lunatic fringe candidate Sharron “If conservatives don’t get what they want in this election, arm yourself” Angle, running to unseat Senate Majority Leader Harry “Droopy” Reid in Nevada.

Sorry, “ma’am” — er, Sen. Barbara Boxer. Come November, you too may go down to defeat by a whacky Senate candidate, Carly “Outsourcing American jobs to China on a daily basis” Fiorina. Really, there are a few of us in the newsroom who can’t wait for Carlyfornia to win —- only because we can use the headline: “Carly K.O.’s Boxer.”

Call it the Palin Principle: Sanctimonious Sarah has given her blessing to many a female candidate this year and she’s come up big with winners. In the primaries anyway.

The Palin Principle can also be referred to as the Palin Template: What the Tea Party is looking for in a Lady Duh-Duh to take over House and Senate seats.

The candidates — to be fair, both male and female — haven’t got a clue as to what to do about anything and are only succeeding because the country is so P.O.’d.

These Palin clones will also avoid talking to any media but Fox Fabricated News, where they will be as snug as a bedbug in a rug.

Expect that from O’Donnell, who is such a bad candidate the Republican Senate Committee that dishes out the funding to candidates said it won’t be sending any dinero her way. And they said this only an hour or so after she was the surprise winner over “moderate” veteran GOP Congressman Mike Castle, the guy who, during the primary campaign, O’Donnell told to “put your man pants on” (which is pretty funny.)

But the GOP moneylenders weren’t laughing: Maybe it’s because O’Donnell’s former campaign manager (a woman, by the way) said that in her recent Senate bid (she lost badly to then Sen. Joe Biden in 2008) the candidate spent her campaign money on rent and personal items —- and didn’t pay her staff (which ain’t legal, Beckerwoods.)

That makes her Senate material already. She’s one step ahead of the game — usually candidates wait until after they’re elected to dabble in the unethical.

The GOP is basically agreeing with so-called cable TV news political election soothsayers who say she can’t win because she’s even too whacky for the lunatic fringe.

Keep predicting, guys and gals, you’ve been doing such a good job at that so far. You better look both ways before crossing the street. Is she a train wreck? You bet’cha. But with all the anger out there, this year she’s on the “right” track.

Besides, she’s hot. Nikki Haley (GOP candidate for South Carolina governor) hot. But guys, don’t even be thinking about her, like that!

O’Donnell will soon become a running joke on TV late night and Comedy Central for her stand on abstinence. Not just abstaining from pre-marital sex, but self-gratification abstinence. Whichis always comedy material to begin with.

Let’s put it this way, she would’ve easily won “The Contest” on that “Seinfeld” episode.

In the 1990s, O’Donnell appeared on MTV as an “abstinence campaigner” who talked to young people her age about “choosing sexual purity.” She even went as far as saying “lusting in your heart is committing adultery.”

OK, she was young and she was at least sincere. What, she still feels that way? The jokes are going to be coming at her hard and fast. Let’s get ahead start, whattaya say?

To this day O’Donnell probably would abstain from listening to these songs just because of the titles:

1. “Let’s get it on”

2. “Can’t Touch This”

3. “Dream Lover”

4. “Good Vibrations”

5. “Love the One You’re With”

Only song simply because of the title O’Donnell will listen to:

“You Can’t Do That”

Let’s hope O’Donnell wins. As well as Angle and Carlyfornia and Rand Paul. It will be a blogger’s bonanza. Gifts that keep on giving.

That’s the bright side. The down side is the lunatics will be running the asylum. Be careful voting for an angry candidate whose only platform is coming to power out of your own anger and frustration.

If that concerns many Californians, better vote for Prop. 19 to legalize recreational marijuana. You’re going to need to be out of it when all these yahoos start to even consider making policy.

And to all you Tea Party princes and princesses who can’t wait to get in power, be careful what you wish for.

Just ask the Democratic Party —- class of 2008.

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One Response to The Grand Ole Party’s over

  1. John dixon says:

    Oh I love it ! You took the words I couldn’t express very well out of my mouth. Excellent !

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