Those dang Obamas.
First the dern socialists want to tell us how much salt we can use.
Then the first lady is out there trying to curb child obesity and wantin’ everybody to eat healthy.
Nuitrition is the language of jihadists.
Rush to Judgment and Glenn “Talk to me Jesus” Beck are right telling the Obamas to “keep your hands off our French fries “(didn’t they used to be called Freedom fries during the Bushy years?)
Go ahead, guys, have a few more of those KFC Double Down samiches.
And wash them down with a few thick, chocolate — ah, better make that vanilla —- milkshakes.
In other political hocus-pocus try not to let the public focus news:
Christine “How about a little fire, Scarecrow?” O’Donnell, the RepubliTea Party candidate for Delaware Senator, was once again outed for some obnoxious thing she said in the 1990s on Bill Maher’s old “Politically Incorrect” show.
Sister Grizzly was caught on tape again, this time blurting that “evolution is a myth.”
Her, uh, logic: “Why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?’
Haven’t you been paying attention to who has been governor of California for the last several years? He’s a knuckle-dragger.
Someone is going to have to inform her that “Planet of the Apes” is not based on a true story.
O’Donnell needs to cut an album with Sarah Palin before election day. Here’s a few songs remade and retitled in their own images they can put on the album “Magical Herstory Tour”:
Side One features O’Donnell:
1. “(You say there’s no such thing as) Evolution”
2. “With a Little Help from my Fox and Friends”
3. “God Only Knows (I deserve to win)”
4. “Smells Like Evil Teen Spirit”
5. “Comfortably Numbskull”
Side Two featuring Palin:
1. “You’ve Made Me So Very Wealthy”
2. (Duet with John McCain): “Hey, you, get off of my Lawn”
3. “I’ve Just Seen a Facebook”
4. “Everybody Wants (to be like Me and) Rule the World”
5. “(Obama wasn’t) Born in the U.S.A.”
Speaking of the next president of the United States, Sarah Palin was in the audience at “Dancing with the Stars” on Monday.
Mama Grizzly was there to cheer on her daughter, Unwed Mama Grizzly, who was competing for the second consecutive week on the reality show.
Mama called her kid “Bristol the Pistol” (a gun reference, go figure.)
One thing is certain about Bristol hanging out with her dancing partners —- her practicing abstinence won’t ever have to come into question.
For her first appearance last week, Bristol danced to The Three Dog Night’s “Mama told me not to come.”
No truth to the rumor that Levi Johnston was in the wings waiting to follow that up with a dancing partner to Carole King’s “It’s too Late, baby, now, it’s too late…”
On Monday, Bristol the Pistol grooved to The Supremes’ “(Mama said) You Can’t Hurry Love.”
Still waiting in the wings was Levi itching to dance to “You’re Having My Baby.”
There’s definitely a theme here —- or a “pattern” as politicians like to say when they’re mudslinging their opponents.
It’s the can’t get enough approval from Mama Grizzly thingy.
Palin looked hot in that leather get-up she was sportin’ (hubby Todd wasn’t there, he was “tied up” back in Wasilla.) And she certainly looked proud of her daughter. As she should be. But you couldn’t help but sense the Baked Alaskan felt out of place because she wasn’t the center of attention.
Other songs Bristol the Pistol can take aim at dancing to:
1. “Your Mother Should Know”
2. “Mama said there’d be days like this”
3. “Mother’s little Helper”
4. “Your Mama Don’t Dance”
5. “Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be liberals —- uh, cowboys”
6. “Have you seen your mother baby standing in the shadows”
7. “Mama Mia”
8. “Mother and child reunion”
9. “Look what they’ve done to my song Ma”
10. “My Yiddishe Mama”
By the way, Bristol was pretty cute going out there before millions of people to strut her stuff.
Too bad for you, Levi, because “It’s too Late….”