Medium Uncool

Whenever a politician has to deal with accusations of misuse of campaign funds or anything unethical, they always blame the media for hounding them.

The broadcast media ---- although not above suspicion anymore because they tend to be one-sided on the network of your choice ---- is just doing its job. Or, the definition of it anyway.

Granted, some times it does its job badly and tends to dwell on the "there's no there there"reports until those stories die of natural causes.

It's becoming clear that the media as watchdog is losing its bite.

Americans generally mistrust the media. But, like the proverbial car crash, they can't help but be attracted to it.

These days the fear factor has taken such a hold on people that a watchdog isn't effective enough.

Americans want a pit bull.

Lipstick is optional.

Example: Sarah Palin telling Tea Party/GOP Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell, who may have to answer ethics charges, to avoid the mainstream media because they're out to destroy her.

O'Donnell can't avoid the mainstream media, no matter how hard Fox Fabricated News tries to keep her at a distance ---- in a protective bubble that rival's Superman's Fortress of Solitude.

Fox Fabricated can and does so with Palin and gets away with it because she's not a candidate. O'Donnell has to face the music and defend the accusations as being ---- a word she coined herself --- "unfactual."

O'Donnell's honeymoon with the press was short ---- and not because they weren't married first. It could get ugly if she is guilty of voter fraud ---- using funds from her 2008 campaign for paying her rent and, huh?, bowling.

O'Donnell's dabbling in witchcraft, her anti-masturbation crusade stuff is more fun to report and write about ---- because you can make light of it. And, dad gum it, isn't she just a ray of sunshine in an otherwise cloudy climate of bad news out there?

So....

Tell-tale signs the Senate candidate from your state may have dabbled in witchcraft:

1. She only meets and greets patrons at diners where the soup du jour is "Frog and newt."

2. Only movie in her DVD collection: "Bedknobs and Broomsticks."

3. Her cat is quite the familiar: it also doesn't have a joband can't pay the rent.

4. She once dated two guys named Darrin.

5. When she bowls she uses a crystal ball.

6. Once conducted a seance and communicated with the spirit of Anton LaVey, who told her hell isn't so bad, especially if you've ever lived in Cleveland.

7. She believes scientists have created mice who can think like people who belong to the ACLU.

8. Michele Bachmann taught her how to turn her head completely around and snatch flys out of the air with her forked tongue.

9. Thinks the words "black magic" is an example of reverse racism.

10. Won't take anybody's advice and make Glenn Beck disappear.

Here's one politician who can't avoid the mainstream media or common everyday Americans saying what they really feel about him and the job he's doing:

President Obama participated in a town hall meeting on Monday where people let him have it about how they feel the American Dream has turned into a nightmare for them.

Surprisingly, Obama got in more than three questions in the alloted period of time, considering the par for the course lengthy, professorial answers he's apt to give.

The main focus was the economy, but here are a few other questions for the president that didn't make the cut:

1. "Did you dabble in witchcraft when you were in high school?"

2. "Will you meet with Lady Gaga to discuss repealing the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy?"

3. "Since Lady Gaga got all this media coverage about a real news story and she wore a beef dress to an awards show, is it safe to say she can start her own news show and call it "Meat the Press?"

4. "Will you pardon Lindsay Lohan?"

5. "Did you know that the economy is so bad, Gladys Knight had to get rid of one of her Pips?"

6. "Did you really say that after seeing Bristol Palin perform, she should abstain from "Dancing with the Stars."

7. "Are you going to grade us for the quality of questions we asked?"

8. "Read any good Korans lately?"

9. "Will you deploy more troops to combat the bed bug infestation?"

10. "We miss Bush ---- can you at least pretend to try and walk out a locked door?"