News and views

Snooki, the babe who puts Jersey in “The Jersey Shore” is writing a book.

It’s going to be titled “The Shore Thing.”

Get it? Got it? Good.

Snooki was on David Letterman’s show recently and, gosh darn it, she was affable and genuine.

She makes no excuse for her lifestyle — nor should she have to. She’s young and got the world by the you-know-whats.

How could you not get a kick out of someone who told Letterman that, no, she doesn’t have a boyfrind —- but that’s not going to stop her from looking for that perfect “gorilla juicehead.”

Reasons why Snooki is writing a book:

1. She wants to be a role model for young girls to get them to read about such important things in life as how to come out on top in a cat fight.

2. She wants to prove that Sarah Palin ain’t the only one who can succeed at writing a book without ever reading one.

3. She hopes that through her book she can get words like “youse” (as in “youse guys”) accepted in the American vernacular.

4. People told her she writes good.

5. People just don’t know enough about her.

Meanwhile, Meg Whitman, the GOP candidate for California governor, got herself in some hot water with her former illegal immigrant housekeeper who claims Meg knew she was living in this country illegally.

It was only after the housekeeper asked Meg to sponsor her to become an American citizen that Whitman allegedly fired her.

But lo and behold, the wicked witch of the American Bar Association, ambitious (and that’s being kind) attorney to the downtrodden (for personal gain and media attention) Gloria All-Dread produced evidence to the contrary to what Whitman claims.

No truth to the rumor that All-Dread purchased the evidence on eBay.

Whitman won’t be harmed by this apparent “nannygate” scandal — in fact, it will probably give her a bump in the polls against Jerry Brown.

Meg is spending $119 million of her own money to take a job that pays as much a year as she spends on tips.

She’s not in the looney bin of GOP candidates that have surfaced like worms on a sidewalk after a heavy rain.

At least she’s not violent like that GOP-Tea Party goon running for governor of New York, Carl “Wiseguy” Paladino.

Meg wouldn’t think of putting the maid in the unsavory position of Carl having to “take her out.”

News earlier this week that atheists and agnostics did better than Catholics, Protestants and Jews leads to this poll that, like a miracle, turned up:

1. 16% surveyed cannot name all of the 12 apostles but are sure one of them was named Bono.

2. 27% believe the Last Supper took place at an Applebee’s in Galilee.

3. 31% blame the Democrats for the Crucifixion.

4. 8% believe Mary Magdalene was a song sung by Rod Stewart.

5. 36% believe one of The Ten Commandments is thou shalt not buy retail.

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