TV time out

Last week the Senate unanimously passed a resolution demanding that the FCC get TV stations to lower the volume on commercials.

As everyone knows, TV commercials are louder — and more obnoxious — than the TV shows they sponsor. Barely.

Although this is greatly appreciated —- TV commercials are insulting (primarily to us heterosexual men) —- isn’t there something else of more urgency that the Senate could at least agree on? It doesn’t even have to be unanimous.

You know, like laws that have to do with job creation and getting people off the unemployment rolls or tax breaks for small businesses. And leaving these important issues hanging in the balance while the House and Senate takes a break until after the mid-term elections. The talking baby on that obnoxious commercial has more integrity.

So this may soon become law (the House passed a similiar version) and the networks and cable channels will have to adhere to it.

Priorities. At least politicians are aware that more people vote on deciding who will be the top winner on “American Idol” than cast ballots in any major election.

Too bad the House and Senate can’t do something about the rash of crap that airs on network TV.

Of course, that would be like communism.

And one could just imagine what they would be fighting over to get on air.

The one TV show with the best title to describe both political parties is, of course, “Lie to Me.” The GOP can take a popular show and re-name it “Lunatic Fringe” while the Democrats can hold a lottery and reward the winner who picks which incumbent will become “The Biggest Loser” come November.

Here are some shows that might be pitched if the two political parties finally go Hollywood:

The Republicans:

1. “Modern Conservative Family”: A family living in Lynchburg, Va., that is not dysfuctional, has no gay characters, goes to church regularly, abstains from sex — even if they’re married, and have kids with names like Skip and Peggy. They vote Republican and have no minorities in the cast, unless they’re domestics or criminals. The show’s executive producer: Mama Grizzly.

2. “Really Mad Men”: The perfect title for Tea Party “mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore” candidates like N.Y. gubernatorial candidate Carl “I’m in da cement bidness” Paladino, who threatens to take anybody out if they refuse any offer he makes. The show’s executive producer: Rush to Judgment Limbaugh and the Mafia.

3. “CSI: Everywhere”: The GOP has to do extra duty on every case because the Democrats are too soft on crime and terrorism.

4. “So You Think You Can Lead”: The GOP continues to say no to everything President Obama does and, through the magic of television as Christine “dabbled in witchcraft” O’Donnell, successfully gets away with fooling the American people that he can’t govern.

5. “How I Met Your Mother (and Divorced Her Because I Was Seeing Another Woman): A mini-series about Newt Gingrich’s infidelity while he was spear-heading Bill Clinton’s impeachment for, essentially, moral terpitude,

The Democrats:

1. “Gleefully WeLike Being Wussies:” The Dems put everything to music as they comically try to keep control of the House and Senate.

The premeire episode features guest stars Sister Sledge, who made famous the disco hit “We Are Family.” This time they help the Dems reword it to “We are The Democratic Family”:

“We are the Democratic Party

we keep blaming Bush for the bad economy.
We are the Democratic Party —-
Shop at the Enthusiasm Gap and don’t vote!”

2. “Not Such an Amazing Race”: A seven-part series on how in just 24 months the Democrats went from exciting the electorate to coming up lame running in this election cycle.

3. “$#*! Rahm Emanuel Says”: Self explanatory. Highlights from Rahmn the F-Bomb’s Palinesque two-year stint as White House Chief of Staff, now even more fun since he’s running for mayor of $#*! Chicago.

4. “Survivor California”: The documentary of Barbara “Don’t call me Ma’am” Boxer’s arduous game to keep her Senate seat running against Carly “Outsourcing thousands of jobs overseas daily” Fiorina.

5. “Community Organizer”: President Obama’s weekly seminar of how to send out resumes when you suddenly become unemployed. The “Apprentice” catch here: The one who writes the best resume for Obama to use after 2012 gets a Cabinet post — or a position on the Supreme Court, whichever opens up first.

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