Tea Party favors

         The cost of foreign governments trying to influence our policies by contributing money to Republican candidates funneled through the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: $75 million.

The cost of GOP candidate Meg Whitman trying to become California governor: $140 million (and counting.)

The cost of looney tune Republican/Tea Party candidates continuing to surface in this year’s mid-term elections: Priceless.

First we were introduced to Christine O’Donnell, who dabbled in witchcraft, advocates abstaining from sex even when you don’t have a partner, and believes scientists have used stem cell research to create mice with functioning human brains.

Pretty whacky stuff, huh? You would think that there couldn’t be anymore out there as, well, out there as O’Donnell.

But you would be wrong.

Along comes Carl “The Thug” Paladino, Tea Party candidate for governor of New York.

Carl’s latest rant is against gays and the gay pride parade.

Carl doesn’t like gay pride parades because they’re disgusting. His own word.

For an example, this guardian of decency said the parades always highlight a bunch of gay guys in Speed-Os rubbing up against each other.

Obviously this is an indelible image in Carl’s mind.

Carl’s the same thug who told a reporter to stop harrassing him and his family or he would “take him out.”

Obviously Carl wasn’t talking about taking the reporter out to a Broadway show.

Or to the ballgame. Unless it’s batter-up time and Carl gets to use the reporter’s noggin’ for batting practice.

     Carl is the guardian of decency who has a daughter by his mistress.

Carl took the mantle of whackaloon of the week away from O’Donnell, but even he’s in trouble of losing the dubious distinction  this week from the Tea Party candidate who used to like to play Nazi dress-up.

Yes it’s Rich Iott, Ohio Tea Party candidate for Congress. Rich used to participate in Nazi re-enactments because it was fun and even historic.

Either that or he’s seen Mel Brooks’ classic comedy “The Producers” way too many times.

Richie’s re-enactors were the Wikings — Nazis responsible for killing thousands of Jews during World War II.

There are photos of Iott posing with his fellow Hitler youth (re-enacting, of course) looking happier than Aryan kiddies eating a Bavarian cream pie.

Iott said he stopped the re-enacting “hobby” because his son got bored with the whole Nazi prowess business.

Seems Iott and his son joined the organization to bond with one another (“They have cool uniforms, dad!”) They joined other  patriotic Americans who don’t think it’s a bit on the sinister side even to play Nazi dress-up.

What’s next, a candidate who dressed up as a klansman to re-enact historical moments of the Ku Klux Klan?

Dressing up as a Nazi on Halloween is verboten.

If you must re-enact a part of history, stick with another loser group — the Confederate Army during the Civil War.

Now those guys knew how to lose —- in style. They surrendered.

And they never invaded other countries or eliminated 6 million people from the face of the earth.

Always remember, Stonewall Jackson, yes. Erwin Rommel, nein!

Songs re-titled for an upcoming album by Rich Iott called “I Vas Just Following Orders!”:
        Side one:

1. “Braun-eyed Girl.”

2. “Eva Destruction”

3. “Ballroom Blitzkreig”

4. “99 Luftwaffe Balloons”

Side Two:

1. “(Tonight We’re Going to) Party Like it’s 19- Nein-de-Nein”

2. “Goosestepping Out With My Baby”

3. “If Loving You is Wrong I Don’t Want to Be Reich!”

4. “More Than A Fuhrer”

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