The people didn’t just speak at the polls on Tuesday. They yelled at the top of their lungs.
The headline in November 2008 when Barack Obama ascended to the presidency was “Change has come.”
Two years later the headline could easily have been “Sea change has come.”
Ahh, democracy. What a concept.
This time out, it was the Republicans who were like Sherman going through Atlanta. But the Democrats will just walk it off —- this is the political party famous for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
The political tsunami the pundits and the polls had projected indeed created the perfect storm that dragged some of the more veteran Democrats down under.
If there was a famous pop tune that could’ve been played to the Democrats getting pummled in the midterm elections it would be The Ventures’ surfing instrumental hit from the 1960s, “Wipeout.”
OK, enough with the cliched weather analogies. Time to get down to the nitty gritty.
A Republican won the Senate seat in Illinois formerly held by President Obama.
How bad of a night was it for Democrats? The Republican winner for Senate in Idaho has the last name of Crapo.
While we’re on the subject, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada won re-election. Only because the GOP blew it by nominating a lunatic like Tea Party darling Sharron Angle.
On the ballot in Nevada there was also a choice to select “None of the above.”
Every state should have that on the ballot. Let’s see…. Brown? Boxer? Whitman? Fiorina? None of the above? Now there’s a public option for you.
Speaking of California, as if Fox Fabricated News and Rush to Judgment needed more reasons to demonize the Golden State, the fact that the two liberal Senators are now joined by former governor and now Governor-elect Moonbeam will make conservatrons go berserko grande.
They’ve already got to be P.O.’d that the World Series champs are from satanic San Francisco, and the defending NBA champions are the Lakers.
President Obama needs to move the White House to California. It’s the only state that really likes him. Except for maybe Hawaii, the (supposed) place of his birth.
The prez will have to deal with a new Speaker of the House, since Salome Palin was successful delivering the head of Nancy Pelosi on a platter to Herod Murdoch.
The GOP’s take no prisoners recapturing of the House of Representatives puts Ohio Congressman John “Bad Orange Tan” Boehner in line as the new Speaker.
Boehner got all teary-eyed and emotional with his victory speech and the Republican surge last night. Now that he’s won, The Great Pumpkin can pull of his mask and show everybody he’s really Glenn Beck.
There’s no crying in politics. One was waiting for Bad Tan to say: “Excuse me. I’m feeling a little verklempt. Talk among yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: Fox News — it’s not an animal and it’s not real news.”
Man up, Bad Tan. Relax. Have some tea. It’s going to be forced fed to you one way or the other in the next two years anyway.
Speaking of everybody’s cup of tea, Mama Grizzly will be taking all the credit for the GOP regaining control of the House.
But hold on a minute, no one will dare question her (especially the Foxholes) about three out of her four major endorsements failing to win Senate seats:
1. Angle in Nevada. In the primaries, she bested the woman who suggested bartering for health care with chickens. Maybe this one was a lock for Reid all along.
This is the race the Republicans wanted the most — the coup de gras — the solo home run that decides the 7th game of the World Series.
But thanks to Palin and her oversized ego, the GOP lost the really big one. In Palin’s defense, sort of, quote the Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
2. Ken Buck in Colorado lost the Senate seat to Michael Bennett. Palin was prominent in pulling the puppet strings of this candidate, and the GOP poured a lot of money into this race.
3. Meanwhile in Alaska, the den of Mama Grizzly, the little fuzzy wuzzy bear of a candidate, crazy Joe Miller, whom Palin hand-picked, is running second to the write-in candidate —- Sen. Lisa Murkowski. Miller beat Murkowski in the GOP primary. He came out of nowhere thanks to Palin —- and if he’s embarrassed by losing to a write-in candidate, he’ll go back to nowhere. Maybe a Bridge to Nowhere.
4. And last, but certainly not least, there’s poor Christine “I’m not a witch. I’m you” O’Donnell, who lost badly to Chris Cooms for Joe Biden’s old Senate seat in Delaware.
O’Donnell —- as well as Angle —– could not have been taken seriously. They were jokes. Although it still would’ve been fun having a witch in the Senate. And O’Donnell’s 15-minutes of fame should last a little longer because she’s so kooky.
She may even get her own show on Fox. No, too sane.
Not all the whackaloon tea baggers won. Score one for the voting public. Besides, Angle, Carl “I’ll take you out” Paladino got thumped running for governor of New York. And Rich Iott, who was running for Congress in Ohio, went down to defeat. He was the guy who used to like to dress up like a Nazi for those World War II “re-enactments.” Iott didn’t concede defeat right away. Word has it he was waiting for those last-minute write-in votes to come in from Munich.
But Rand “Mess with me and one of my goons will step on your head, lady” Paul did win big to be Kentucky’s next Senator. Since Kentucky’s a militia state, so there’s no surprise there.
Had Palin not thought so highly of herself as a queenmaker, O’Donnell and Angle would’ve lost in the primaries to more established GOP candidates, who likely would’ve beaten the Democrats and in the process the party of Lincoln and God would’ve got the Senate as well.
Palin will never shut her massive cake hole. Or get her just desserts —- unless she runs for president in 2012.
Meanwhile, the rumor mill has it that the good ole boys in the GOP are planning to groom one of their own to stop Mama Grizzly from bearing down on the Republican presidential nomination in 2012.
You know, kind of like what the Democrats did in 2008 to Hillary Clinton by grooming Barack Obama to knock her off her pedestal, thus preventing those cracks in the glass ceiling from shattering.
How’s that working out for you, Democrats?