W. builds a library

      Groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Library was held on Minday.

Of course when you think of George W. Bush, the word library automatically comes to mind.

This is the guy who probably asked if DC Comics could be part of the book section.

Dignitaries of all shapes and sizes were at the groundbreaking.

Of course, when you think of George W. Bush, the word groundbreaking —- as in what he accomplished as a president achieved groundbreaking results— comes immediately to mind.

There had to be a photo op of W. with a shovel as if to dig the first clump of ground that will serve as the building’s foundation.

Of course when you think of George W. Bush, you immediately think of him shoveling a lot of something else to the public.

The dignitaries gathered at the site of the library that will house the vast section called The Incompetence Wing.

Funny that W. was accused of lifting passages from other famous works to pad his memoir “Decision Points.” This is of course ridiculous. W. has never read a book. Still, there may be something to that…..

For instance:

1. On Page 61 Bush writes: “My decision to fire Gen. Douglas MacArthur was responsible for my popularity plummeting in the polls.”

2. On Page 127: Bush maintains he channeled Vince Lombardi and says he was paraphrasing the legendary football coach when he wrote about Iraq: “We didn’t lose the war, we just didn’t get a third term.”

3. On Page 33:  Bush mixes and matches quotes he lifted from famous people when he writes: “Be nice to the people you meet on your way up because you’ll have to make sure they’re not gaining on you.”

4. On Page 76: W. admits he’s adept at practical jokes and on every April Fool’s Day he’d switch Cheney’s heart pills with Skittles.”

5. On Page 101: W. breaks with tradition and releases some of the lesser important things from the Book of Secrets that are reserved for presidents only. Like….

a. Ulysses S. Grant once told an aide “I was so drunk I couldn’t remember her Gettsyburg Address.”

b. Grover Cleveland often boasted “Naming a city after me is no joke.” To which W. admits, “I didn’t know they named a city after him, but I knew they did a Muppet.”

c. James Buchanan, our nation’s only bachelor president, choreographed all the dance routines at the different parties after he was sworn in and is credited for coining the phrase inauguration balls.

d. Before joining the Army, George Custer was a failed inventor. His biggest flop was a hair product for men called “Scalp Treatment.”


In other words…..
        The pop culture phrase that was a hit on the World Wide Web a while back showed some putz acting up at some town hall meeting or something and then being forcibly removed by security guards and the dude saying to them: “Don’t Tase me, bro.'”

That phrase has now been overtaken by the guy in San Diego who refused to be patted down at the airport and uttered the phrase du jour: “Don’t touch my junk.”

It is now up to someone to get instant fame on the Internet by creating a situation in public where he gets to yell: “Don’t Tase my junk, bro.’ “

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