Looks like Sarah Palin can add another loser she backed to her list.
Mama Grizzly’s daughter, Unwed Mama Grizzly, got voted off “Dancing with the Stars” on Tuesday.
And the Rapture still hasn’t happened.
Palin, who knocks “American Idol” contestants in her latest tome for being untalented and suffering as “victims of the cult of self-esteem,” was apparently OK with “DWTS.”
Funny that, since the exact words she said about “Idol” contestants perfectly describe her daughter.
Not to worry though, Palin has another contestant in mind to unleash on the show: Sister Grizzly, Christine “I’m not a witch, I’m you” O’Donnell. Why not, look how well her Senate campaign went with Palin’s blessing. Besides, O’Donnell the Abstinence Angel will be safe on that reality TV show. If anything, Bristol proved that if you want to be faithful to abstinence, find yourself a professional dancing partner.
O’Donnell could really mix it up if she became a “DWTS” contestant: for a real change of pace, witchy woman’s dance partner could be Elvira.
Conspiracy theories abounded as to how Bristol got as far as she did on the show —- third place. A poll conducted showed that 53 percent thought she got to the finals because of her mom. True? You bet’cha. The Palin faithful —- the 21st century’s answer to rabid Trekkies — voted in droves for Kid Palin.
So what happened? How did Bristol not win because of her famous mom? One would think the judges finally realized that Bristol sucked. But no —- there had to be other theories. And some of those theories conspiratorial.
Reasons why Bristol Palin was voted off “Dancing with the Stars”:
1. Judges wanted to beat President Obama to the punch by pardoning a turkey.
2. Palin faithful got confused with the remote and forgot which Mama Grizzly channel they were supposed to be watching: Fox? Learnin’ Channel? Spike TV?
3. Palin faithful too involved with reading her new book (hokey smokes, once you start readin’ you can’t put it down!)
4. “DWTS” judges bribed with full coverage of Obamacare.
5. Bristol backed off pulling a Tanya Harding on Jennifer Grey.
6. Judges sleeping with Levi Johnston.
7. Monkey costume routine can only get you so far —– even on a lame TV reality show.
8. Wasn’t in top form on final night —– too worried about nuclear proliferation.
9. Blames her partner for not being light enough on his feet.
10. She reached her ultimate goal anyway —- to finish ahead of David Hasselhoff.