The Grim Weeper

     Incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner of Ohio was on “60 Minutes” last night crying like a baby.

His wife said she was proud of him and the waterworks went all Niagara Falls on the viewer.

OK, so he’s emotional. But this is not an isolated incident —- Boehner burst into tears on the House floor last year with his “Hell no, you can’t!” angry response to President Obama’s health care overhaul.

Then he wept on election night when the GOP snatched the House back from the timid Democrats.

Good thing he’s not a Democrat, because Rush to Judgment would verbally draw and quarter this weeping willow.

Imagine if Nancy Pelosi was that sensitive.

But Boehner gets a pass because he’s a Republican. Like they do when they’re guilty of cheating on their wives.

There’s no buying the crying, Mister Soon-to-be Speaker.

The sensitive male thing is so 1979.

Hey, Mama Grizzly, how’s that “man-up” thingy workin’ for ya anyway?

Palin’s out there in the Alaska wilderness bagging caribou and Boehner’s turning the House of Representatives into “The Crying Game.”

There’s no buying the crying.

He’s as phoney as his fake tan.

At best he is what Claude Rains’ character calls Humphrey Bogart’s character in “Casablanca” —- “a rank sentimentalist.”

And there’s no believing his humility. This is a guy who grew up one of 12 children, Catholic (goes without saying) and poor.

He was a Kennedy Democrat until he became well-off. Then, naturally, he became a Goldman-Sachs stooge, a corporate candidate, a lover of lobbyists, a Republican.

This is one grim dude.

He speaks of the American Dream and that he is a living testimony to it.

But he scofffs at poor people who are in need of health care and can’t afford it.

He shuns people out of work out of no fault of their own —- but because of a horrid economic agenda begun under a president of his own party —- who need jobless benefits extended just to get through the holidays.

Boehner speaks of being one of 12 kids who went through hardships of the damned –yet he damns millions of people who can’t sleep because the American Dream for them has turned into a nightmare.

He lies almost as much as he cries. He is a charlatan who makes the vulnerable believe that if they strive hard enough they could be in that top two percent of the wealthiest of Americans, who will get their tax breaks.

A dream indeed, since those true believers have a 100 percent better chance of being on the unemployment rolls and ignored by the party of Trump.

Their future is like that 80-year-old man you see buying a Lotto ticket —- one last long shot left at making millions of dollars before they meet their maker.

A grim reality from the guardian of grim, John Boehner.

In this blog he used to be called “Bad Tan” or “Orange Tan” because of his tanning secrets gone bad.

Boehner will now be referred to as The Grim Weeper.

He’ll cry you a river, all right. More like a creek, maybe. And you’ll be up that you-know-what creek without a paddle.

It’s poetic justice that his father owned a tavern because Boehner must’ve seen thousands of people cry in their beer.

Good luck, America, with what’s on tap.

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