Senator Buzz Kill

     Now that “don’t ask, don’t tell” has been repealed, the opposition to gays serving openly in the military say it will make defenders of our freedoms weaker.

The commander-in-grief about DADT being repealed is Sen. John McCain, former war hero turned coward.

On the Senate floor, the sore loser of the 2008 presidential election whined that gays serving openly will “harm the battle effectiveness.”

If he would’ve continued speaking he might have said something like: “My friends, this is not the military I grew up with. When men were free to shower with each other and slept in really close quarters together. And women weren’t allowed to be anywhere in sight on the same aircraft carrier.”

McCain continues to prove that after he picked Mama Grizzly for a running mate, there was nowhere to go but downhill —– mentally.

He also continues to prove that —- no matter what you think of President Obama —- the country is better off because he lost.

It’s easy to pick on the old coot because he is not just getting on in years but already on in years.  If he were to star in a movie about where he is now, the film would be called “From Here to Senility.” But it’s more than that: he’s just plain bitter. He warmed to the Tea Party because it was the poster child for America’s anger —- and it fit him to, well, a “T”.

Listen to McCain’s speech after the lame-duck session of the Senate finally did something after two years through compromise: He barked something like, if you think we’re all going to get along after the new Congress comes into town and all sing “Kumbaya” — I don’t think so.”

What a buzz kill.

McCain, like the conservative he always was and never the maverick he pretended to be, is worried about the values issue surrounding DADT.

Therefore, welcome to John McCain’s worst nightmare.

Things that will change now that gays are allowed to serve openly in the military:

1. Uncle Sam in “I Want You” poster now looks remarkably like Barney Frank.

2. Rosie O’Donnell line of combat boots now standard military issue.

3. Promotion in rank depends on knowing code of military justice and ability to perform at least two musical numbers from “Glee.”

4. Drapes in barracks must not clash with drab green linoleum floor.

5. Revelry will be replaced by disco-era song “It’s Raining Men.”

And, McPalin might want to worry just as much about Hollyweird and its evil influence over our children’s values.

Just imagine what the movie studios, which could be under an even heavier gay influence than they are now, would do with classic films like “I Was A Male War Bride,” “Going My Way,” and “The African Queen.”

Some re-titled movies that would make the cranky McCain lose even more sleep:

1. “The Bridge on the River Bi”

2. “All Try It On the Western Front”

3. “The Good, the Bad and the Fabulous!”

4. “Enola’s Gay”

5. “Das Booty”

6. “Snow White and the Seven Samauri”

7. “A Few Good 12 Angry Men”

8. “Eight Men Out of the Closet”

9. “Malcolm X-Rated”

10. “Bell, Book and Randle”


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