2011 predictions

           Ahh, the new year. When predictions are made.

Predictions are always fun to read.

So let’s have fun making some predicitons which, like resolutions, shouldn’t be taken seriously:

1. Annoying words and phrases that, unfortunately, will not be put out to pasture in 2011:

1. Cougar

2. Awesome

3. Disconnect

4. Throw under the bus

5. At the end of the day

6. It is what it is

7. Control their own destiny

8. Lamestream media

9. OMG!

10. (tie) Back in the day/Old school

2. “Jackass 3-D” will not win the best picture Oscar. But it will be in the running for an MTV Movie Award.

That Facebook movie, “The Social Network” will win the Oscar. Everybody in Hollywood is on Facebook and its value has been placed at $50 million. Commerce and art are the leading characters in any successful Hollywood production.

3. TV comics like Jon Stewart will relentlessly refer to incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner as “Boner.”

4. During the State of the Union Address, Justice Samuel Alito will turn his back to President Obama, lift up his robe and toot in his general direction.

5. Sarah Palin has served her purpose with the GOP. The party will start alienating her as the year goes on. More serious contenders for the 2012 Republican nomination for president — like Hayley Barbour and Mike Huckabee —- have already started to distance themselves from Mama Grizzly. And actually seem to be manning-up by disagreeing with her.

Last week Palin went all nutsy-Fagen chastizing first lady Michelle Obama over S’mores, saying that big bad government is trying to tell kids they can’t have desert at school.

Naturally, that’s not the case. But Barbour and Huckabee (who used to be a fat load until he lost 100 pounds or so) credited the first lady with her crusade and told Palin to essentially learn to pick the battles that are important.

Of course, Rush to Judgment came to Palin’s defense and agreed with her (since he gave her the talking point to begin with.)

Have another fried Snickers bar, Rush.

Palin was invaluable getting tea baggers and Republicans (OK, that’s redundant) elected in the 2010 midterm election.

The GOP took back the House —- but not the Senate. And there are Republicans who blame Palin for that, since she supported idiotic (like looking in the mirror) candidates such as  Witchy Woman in Delaware and Sharron Angle in Nevada. The latter Senate seat was the big prize the GOP wanted, because Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have been ousted.

Palin’s speaking gigs will be fewer this year as well —- unless she can prove she knows a lot “S’more” about more pressing issues.

Until then she can bag caribou and serve it up to reporters from Fox Fabricates News who cover her every move.

In a nod to the first lady, dessert will not be served.

               But Glenn Beck will be there representing a fruitcake.

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