The Republicans have been in charge of the House of Representatives for three days now and every American who wants to work now has a job.
Ya, and the Cubs are going to win the World Series this year.
The GOTeaParty spent their second day ruling the roost taking turns reading sections from the U.S. Constitution.
Well, the parts they wanted their base to hear. They left out minor thingys like slavery and prohibition.
Revisionist Republicans. History the way Ronald Reagan would’ve seen it. Especially in his final days.
But even the reading from the “sacred document as written by the hand of a Christian God” was upstaged by some birdbrain female birther perched in the gallery who just had to open up her cake hole to spew out still another Obama wasn’t born in America remark.
All men and women are created equal, but some of them continue to go through life proving they’re not living up to that privilege.
To the birther movement: Abort your mission.
So now that we know Republicans can read, let’s see how good they are at math.
Get the number of people out of work back onto the plus side, can’t you?
You guys wanted to be the players. You’ve got the ball, now run with it.
There’s no punting in this league, Patriots.
Meanwhile, as the 112th Congress was wasting the taxpayers’ time by reading the U.S. Constitution instead of doing what we sent them there to do, their Fearless Leader John “Bad Orange Tan” Boehner, scooted off to his first press conference as Speaker of the House. Or for a smoke.
Stupid reporter questions asked at Boehner’s press conference:
1. “Do you want us to call you Weeper of the House or House Weeper?”
2. “Are you compensating for the lack of something else with that oversized gavel?’
3. “What do you think you could do without first: cigarettes or Kleenex?”
4. “Any truth to the rumor you’re going to be the new face of Sunkist?”
5. “You realize when you become famous for something dubious that is distinctly you, the catch phrase will be ‘pulled a Boehner’ “
The whack-job birther in the gallery shouted her nonsense, but here’s a few things overheard in the galleries from people watching House and Senate members being sworn in on Wednesday:
1. “Where’s the witch from Delaware?”
2. “Nice going Pelosi. So much for women taking charge in a high-profiled position and holding on to the power.”
3. “Boehner looks more orange in person.”
4. “Heard the first thing Republicans are going to do is repeal Obama’s fake birth certificate.”
5. “Is it me or can’t Barney Frank take his eyes off of Boehner’s big gavel?”