It’s the first full day of America having to come to grips with Mike Pence announcing that he won’t seek the Republican nomination for president in 2012.
Why? Why? (note: weep like John Boehner when asking that)
Well, because no one knows who in the blazes Mike Pence is.
He’s a congressman from Indiana, by the way.
And he polled poorly in the GOP race for president in 2012…. somewhere inbetween Chuck Norris, Joe the Plumber and Wilford Brimley.
Other reasons why Pence said he won’t run for the GOP presidential nomination:
1. People keep thinking his last name is Pants.
2. Can’t even see six percent of the vote so media could ridicule him with the stigma nickname “Six-Pence.”
3. Hasn’t come up with enough idiotic statements about Obama to please tea baggers.
4. Continues to prove he’s not half the man Michele Bachman is.
5. Failed to ignite any voters with such catchy phrases as “Pence makes sense,” “Best defense is Pence,” or “What’s Not to Like about Mike.”
For now his slogan is “Past Tense Pence.”
But don’t count him totally out. He could be a viable running mate with Sarah Palin. Then the slogan could be “Dense and Pence.”
Back to Michele “Mad as a March Hare” Bachmann. Speaking recently in Iowa —- that testing ground for presidential candidates —- this nitwit told the crowd that the Founding Fathers abolished slavery.
Hey, this human Tasmanian Devil and her tea baggers have been misinterpreting the U.S. Constitiution for a while now, so what does it matter?
She could get her lemmings to believe that the Gettsyburg Address was the apartment where JFK hooked up with Marilyn Monroe.
“Michele, spawn from hell.
These are words that certainly ring a bell.
Spawn from hell.
The Tea Party wants you they want you they want you —- to run for president.
They’d contribute their last ‘red’ cent.
Until they do, Fox News will promote you
so you’ll do well.
Spawn from hell…..”
Bachman gave the Tea Party’s response to President Obama’s State of the Union address earlier this week.
She didn’t come off as well as the Tea Party and Fox News had hoped. Still, makes you wonder what she was thinking when she read the rebuttal —– from a teleprompter by the way.
Thoughts going through Michele Bachman’s head when she was giving the Tea Party response:
1. “Do I look as crazy as I sound to you?”
2. “I thought a rebuttal was an extreme work out ethic to get your tushy reshaped.”
3. “I really gotta toot. Will the sound system pick it up? Maybe if I let an SBD one rip…”
4. “Think fat guys in Speed-Os! Fat guys in Speed-Os!”
5. “After tonight they’ll be calling me Federal Express, ‘cos this little white tornado is delivering!”