Newt Gingrich and the three-year itch

      Romance fading from your relationship so soon?
   Got that endless urge to meet and greet someone new?
   You may be going through the three-year-itch.
   It used to be called the seven-year itch, but that was way back in the 1950s when everything took a lifetime to materialize.
   Heck, look how long it took before families got color TVs.
   According to a new study, the “three-year glitch” has replaced the “seven-year itch” as the tipping point where couples start to take each other for granted.
   Everything from stinginess to snoring to leaving toe nail clippings on the bathroom floor are cited for reasons couples get sick of each other sooner.
   Sounds like everything guys are guilty of.
   Other things that contribute to the three-year itch or glitch:
   1. Women are becoming cougars at an earlier age and need some quality time to graduate from puma stage.
   2. Damn rock and roll music.
   3. It takes about three years for women to voice every complaint they have about men. And about as much time for Madison Avenue and network TV to make money off of it.
   4. The economy. It’s to blame for everything nowadays. What once was good for seven years now only good for three. Like new cars. And once that new car smell is gone, it’s downhill from there.
   5. The Seinfeld theory —- where every little annoying tick is suddenly so magnified you can make a half hour show out of it.

   The three-year itch may have a lot of people scratching their heads, but it could lead to stronger stuff. Like infidelity.
   Infidelity is not a sin against God Almighty if you’re a Republican.
   Especially if you’re Newt Gingrich.
   Newt said his love of country lead to his extramarital affairs.
   Rewrite that in the Constitution, Tea Party. “All men are created equal, unless you’re a Democrat —- then you’re not allowed to cheat on your wife because you don’t love your country.”

What is it with these Republicans who get away with justifying their infidelity by, as Newt puts it, seeking God’s forgiveness for mistakes in their past?
   The Newter is the guy who lead the charge for impeachment of President Clinton because of his fooling around in the White House. Not because he covered it up, but because he was cheatin’ on Hillary.
   Newt was also the guy who told his sickly wife while she was bedridden in a hospital that he was leaving her for another woman.
   His passion for his country resulted in his passion for other women.
   The Passion of the Newt.

Let’s turn it into a song. Sung to the tune of “The Shadow of Your Smile.”
   “The passion of the Newt
   when strange comes along.
   He can take what he wants
   he loves his country right or wrong.
   “Look into his past and you’ll see
   all that he’s done for Christianity.
   “The passion of the Newt
   his work load made him stray.
   But God forgives Republicans
   because Democrats don’t pray.

   “Now when you vote next year
   there’s only one choice that’s clear
   listen and this slogan you will hear:
   the passion of the Newt.”

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