Hollywood is about to play politics in a movie based on the best-seller “Game Change” —- the book that skews aspects of the 2008 presidential campaign when the Obamas, Clintons, McCains and Palins were dominating the news.
Julianne Moore is set to play Sarah Palin. Nothing against Moore, a fine actress seen most recently in “The Kids Are Alright.” But doesn’t our Sarah deserve a Meryl Streep? There’s an actress who runs the gamut — from playing the mother who has to sacrifice one of her children to the Nazis during the Holocaust, to playing Karen Silkwood. OK, so there was that bedroom comedy with Alec Baldwin.
If not Streep, then Frances McDormand, whose accent in “Fargo” was Palin before Palin became a household name.
It was rumored that Matthew McConaughey was set to play Todd Palin, but he bowed out after he couldn’t convince the producers to have him in a few scenes where he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Look for him instead in the next “Twilight Saga” movie as the ageless surfer dude werewolf.
The producers thought they signed Oscar winner Natalie Portman to play Bristol Palin, since she was already preggers out of wedlock. But Portman declined, much to the delight of Mike Huckabee, who knocks the Hollywood hethen for sinning like that.
Maybe “Game Change” the movie should become “Game Change: The Musical.” The 2008 presidential campaign not only cries out for satire, but satirical songs rewritten specifically for certain events that transpired and have become indelible ever since.
Sort of like the greatest hits of the 2008 campaign.
One can’t forget Sarah Palin’s famous line from her speech at the Republican National Convention: “Lipstick on a Pit Bull.” That phrase can be a song, sung to the tune Connie Francis made famous in the 1960s, “Lipstick on Your Collar”:
“Lipstick on a pit bull
no taming of this shrew.
Lipstick on a pit bull
giving soccer moms their due.
Her wink will get a million male votes
looks like Obama and Biden are through.
Lipstick on a pit bull
Doh! The Katie Couric interview.”
Then-candidate Barack Obama pretty much had enough delegates to seal the Democratic nomination when he almost blew it when he spoke in (gasp!) San Francisco about Pennsylvanians “clinging to their guns and religion.”
That incident can become the song “Americans just want to have Guns” —- sung to the tune of Cyndi Lauper’s 1980s anthem “Girls Just want to have Fun.” The chorus would go something like this:
“Oh, Obama dear you know you’re still Kenya’s favorite son.
But Americans just want to shoot guns.
Oh, Americans just want to have guns.
When the entry-level working day is done
Americans just want to shoot guns.
That’s all they really want …. cable TV and guns.
Americans just want to shoot guns…”
During the campaign, a lot was made of Obama’s pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the controversial clergyman who was painted by the GOP as a radical who hated the red, white and blue and thought 9-11 was an inside job.
For this section, The Beatles’ “For the Benefit of Mr. Kite” is now “For the Benefit of Rev. Wright”:
“For the benefit of Rev. Wright
Terrorist who are not white
advise Joe Cool.
Muslims are pulling strings
to get their man in the West Wing.
What a coup.
Having fooled the young and elite
with hope, change and yes you can
tonight Rev. Wright will read from the Koran…..”
At the outset of the 2008 campaign, it looked like Hillary Clinton was just going to have to go through the motions until she was crowned the nominee. For the Hillary section, the novelty song from the 1950s “Tan Shoes with Pink Shoelaces” gets a rewrite:
“Pantsuits and glass ceilings
It’s Hillary’s turn to be The Man.
From first lady to U.S. senator
if not for Bill it was a fool-proof plan…”
The Republican nominee turned out to be John McCain, who proved to be too impulsive and out of step with figuring out how to combat the looming economic catastrophe. But he kept reminding everybody he was a maverick, just what Washington needed. Even though he was already there for almost 30 years. For Johnny Mac, the Oscar-winning disco song from “Flashdance” — “Maniac” —- is now “Maverick”:
“He’s a maverick, maverick on the Senate floor.
The last American hero of the Vietnam war.
He’s a maverick, maverick, he’s shown it time and again.
But his movie’s not “Patton” it’s “No Country for Old Men.”
The finale will be a take-off on the movie’s title. “Game Change” will be sung to the 1960s pop tune “The Name Game.”
“Come on everybody!
Let’s play a game change
You can make any politician’s name sound strange.
Let’s do Sarah. Sarah, Sarah Bo Barrah Bonana fanna Fo Farrah, fee fy mo Marrah, Sarah.
Let’s try Rudy. Rudy, Rudy Bo Boody Bonana fanna fo Foody, fe fy Moe Moody, Rudy.”
The finale will be performed by the cast of “Glee.”
Harvey Weinstein, are you listening out there.
This practically screams Oscar.
“Oscar, Oscar bo Boscar, bonana fanna….”