Field of Dweebs

        Running for president used to be serious business.

Now it’s just entertaining.

A parlor game with humorous consequences.

Right now it’s difficult to take the field of potential Republican presidential candidates seriously.

Even some of the names are fodder for jokes.

Presenting a Mitt and a Newt. But it wasn’t long ago that we got used to a candidate with the name Barack. So maybe there is still hope.

There’s no hope for a candidate who the media refers to as The Donald.

Trump on the stump.

Just imagine Trump campaigning in Iowa. That thing on his head would frighten small farm animals. Then when campaigning before dairy farmers he’d probably say something off the cuff like, “You’ll have to cut me some slack. I’m not used to cows. I run a beauty pageant.”

And if you think things couldn’t get more ridiculous, along comes Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who puts the lunatic in lunatic fringe.

The female Tasmanian devil was in New Hampshire recently on a speaking engagement. That’s where she praised the heroism of New Hampshire during the Revolutionary War battles fought in Lexington and Concord.

Doh! Those battles were raged not in New Hampshire, Sister Grizzly, but rather Massachusetts.

No biggie, the Republican Party is ignoring —- or rewriting —– any history before Obama became president anyway.

Bachmann the little white tornado is among the faction of the GOP whose slogan could be “Keeping America Stupid.”

State by state the GOP is gutting education and targeting teachers as if they were the homegrown terrorists Fox News says are still advising Obama.

Bachmann is an anti-educator who is the brainchild of Fox News. She is of the school of nitwits who believe all teachers are liberal elitists who are only in the noble profession to keep Jesus out of the classroom and to hand out condoms and birth control pills to students, just in case they plan on having sex with them.

She is the Mad Hatter of the Tea Party who won’t be a serious contender for the GOP nod. But that doesn’t mean she won’t shut up. Because she won’t. She’s so annoying she almost makes Sarah Palin plausible. And Palin made Bachmann possible. The two headed snake of two modern Medusas.

At least Republicans know who Bachmann is —- that’s not the case with her fellow Minnesotan, that state’s former governor, Tim Pawlenty.

A recent poll found that 6 out of 10 Republicans didn’t know who this likely presidential candidate is. But that didn’t prevent them from guessing:

1. 38 percent thought the poll said his name was Tim Plenty, so they figured he’s probably a porn star.

2. 22 percent thought he was the inventor of the candy Good ‘N Plenty.

3. 18 percent believed it was the real name of kooky 1960s singer Tiny Tim.

4. 40 percent think he’s the annoying former Major League Baseball catcher who lulls everybody to sleep with his comments on the Fox Sports baseball game of the week.

5. 55 percent think he’s a country singer.

When all is said and done the Republican Party will probably end up nominating another Bush.

The country can’t get enough Bush.

But this time the Republican trilogy will feature the smart Bush brother, Jeb. (OK, you’re asking, “There’s a smart brother?”)

Oh good, now we get Dick Smothers instead of Tommy.

Or was that Timmy?

Jeb — another weird first name. But this one’s got that Southern twang to it. Ought to get the Anglos out in full force next year.

They’re gonna need it. According to the latest Census, Latinos are now 50 million strong in the US of A.

That’s got to have America’s bully, Rush Limbaugh, sweating like he ate too many bell peppers.

It’s time he got his forces at Fox and in the GOP to come up with some ideas on how to initiate voter fraud.

They’re going to have to hire the sleaziest of sleazebags to come up with some plans.

How many ideas are they gonna need?

You guessed it —– Paw-lenty.

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One Response to Field of Dweebs

  1. Patricia says:

    Well, I see why I’m the first person commenting on this blog … typical hypocritical liberal. Point out Bachmann’s gaffe but ignore the ones by your liberal dunceheads Pelosi and Biden. Some of the stuff Biden’s done … makes Quayle look like a scholar.

    And lest we forget Ms. Pelosi, who told us we needed to pass the healthcare bill before we could see what’s in it. Thanks, Ms. Brainchild.

    Of course, that was topped by our current president, the esteemed Mr. Obama, who told us during the campaign he had visited all 57 states.

    It’s amateur hour in the White House. I mean, these guys would make a great sitcom. Would have the viewers in stitches.

    Oh, and as far as the Republican candidates for 2012? Anything would be better than Mr. Transparency, the man who was going to bring integrity back to the White House. Huh!!! That’s almost as humorous as this blog.

    LMAO

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