The Republican National Committee is seeing red.
No, not red as in red states.
Or red —- as in commie red in the Obama administration and Democrats in Congress, if you believe everything Michele Bachmann says.
And if that’s the case then:
a. You probably still call French fries Freedom fries.
b. You speak and write like a Fox News talking point by using words like “transparency” and you can’t shake the Jones you still have for Nancy Pelosi.
c. You bite the heads off live chickens.
No, the Republican National Committee is seeing red as “in the red.”
The RNC is broke. And Michael Steele is no longer running the show. So they can’t blame the black man.
You would think that the GOP would only be “in the orange” —- as an homage to Weeper of the House John “Bad Tan” Boehner.
Five reasons why the Republican National Committee is broke:
1. On the advice of outgoing GOP Nevada Sen. John “Anchors Away” Ensign, RNC invested heavily in Charlie Sheen’s “Torpedo of Truth” one-man shows.
2. RNC picked up options on Mel Gibson’s movie contracts, where they stood to rake in 50 percent of everything his films gross at the box office.
3. RNC members mispronounced the Koch brothers’ name once too many times for their own good.
4. As God is their witness, the RNC thought the political fundraiser for Mississippi Gov. Hayley Barbour —- “Goobers and Moonshine” —– would bring in more contributions.
5. RNC still paying the tab for Palin’s wardrobe from 2008 campaign.
The RNC may be a bit bummed out. They look like they could use a song.
Call it “We’re the GOP.” It can be sung to the tune of “Meet the Flintstones”:
“GOP —- we’re the GOP
the modern Stone Age political party.
From the folks that gave you Dan Quayle
we’re out to rewrite history.
“No compromise, that’s just who we are.
Our priority’s not jobs —-
it’s getting rid of NPR.
“When you’re with the GOP
you’ll have a Christian good time
no Planned Parenthood time
and ixnay on the gay old time….”