The Royals

       By all accounts from the news programs this morning, the Royal Wedding went off without a hitch.

The dashing prince and his loverly princess bride locked lips twice from the balcony of Buckingham Palace, much to the delight of thousands of Brits and some anglophiles in the crowd.

The new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge even took a spin around Trafalgar Square on their way to Clarence House in a vintage Asto-Martin with Willie behind the wheel.

Very cool.

Couldn't do that in the states without a bubble top on the car and Secret Service agents running alongside of the sports car.

Will and Kate went through all the traditional royal monarchy malarkey before they got to do their own thing at an after-reception party.

Things overheard at that party after everyone got totally sloshed:

1. "Now that it's legal, her friends don't have to warn her 'Katie, bar the door!' "

2. "Oh blast! Elton John has new lyrics to 'Candle in the Wind.' "

3. "Looks like that space shuttle back in the states isn't the only rocket that's going to launch today."

4. "The queen just mooned me!"

5. "That's not liquor Prince Philip is drinking, it's embalming fluid."

6. "Why isn't Prince Harry wearing pants?"

7. "Not another pint for me, bloke. Camilla Parker Bowles is starting to look hot."

8. "I never drink and drive. I always take a cab. In fact it's here now ---- and both of the doors are open. Oh, wait, that's Prince Charles."

9. "Wedding, smedding. I only RSVP'd because I found out Mr. Bean was going to be here."

10. "William only decided to get married because the pick-up line 'do you want to see the family jewels' wasn't working anymore."