Oscar-winning director Kathryn Bigelow had been working on her newest production called “Kill bin Laden” when the news came that the Navy SEALS did just that.
Get me re-write!
The Navy SEALS who took out the mass murderer are the new American heroes.
There should be a huge spike in military recruitment.
And you know that pretty soon Hollywood has got to take notice.
In the near future these movies may be at a theater near you:
“The Kill Shot,” directed by Ron Howard, takes place in the Situation Room of The White House where those in command watch in real time the Navy SEALS’ commando mission culminating in the killing of Osama bin Laden.
Starring Will Smith as President Obama, Jodie Foster as Hillary Clinton and Sean Penn as Osama bin Laden.
Smith gets to showcase his comedic talent as the prez when the night before the raid he cracks jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
What this movie hopes to separate from the pack of similar flicks sure to follow is its hook: The actor playing the role of the elite squad member who takes out the evil one will be shown. But you have to see the movie and not give away who the superstar actor playing the role is.
Here is a sample of the TV teaser that will accompany the film: One of these Hollywood superstars will be unmasked after delivering the kill shot. Will it be Robert Downey Jr.? Leonardo DiCaprio? George Clooney? Matt Damon? or Justin Timberlake?
Of course the movie has to have a song. So sung to the tune of “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” is “The Man Who Got Osama Bin Laden.”
Here’s a verse from the yet to be completed song:
“When bin Laden was in Tora Bora the Bushies let him run.
The Yale Cowboy went into Iraq to finish what daddy hadn’t done.
But the man who got Osama bin Laden
who ordered the kill shot on bin Laden
he was the coolest one of all.”
“SEALS of Approval”: Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan auditioned for the roles by showing video of the nights on the town in L.A. when they were photographed going commando. But that didn’t help them land the roles.
Instead the empowered femmes will be played by Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry and Megan Fox, who kick butt during the arduous training and always look hot while doing so.
At first their intitial mission seems a bit too safe and ultimately silly and sexist. They have to take into custody and keep under wraps the rival designer who was going public to release photos and the identity of the designer of Kate Middleton’s wedding dress.
But here’s the catch: the designer is the scorned lover of the courier who ultimately leads the U.S. to bin Laden.
The enhanced interrogation the gals use on the courier to get him to squeal is showing themselves buying clothes at Wal-Mart.