The Pre-9/11 Candidate

         Everything old is Newt again.
 Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, who gave us the failed Republican Party’s Contract with America in the 1990s that resulted in the government shutting down and guaranteed Bill Clinton a second term, is going to announce his candidacy for president in 2012 on Wednesday via Facebook.

If Newt had a movie title to symbolize his campaign it would be “No Country for Old Men.”

That sounds agist, but it’s more than that — it’s when someone’s time is now and they act on it.

His time was then.

Newt is a product of pre-9/11.

President Obama started a trend with his election in 2008. He was a post-9/11 candidate.

Hillary Clinton lost the nomination to Obama. Hillary is pre-9/11.

The same fate awaited John McCain, hell, a pre-Civil War candidate.

Gosh only knows where Rudy 9/11 falls in this scenario.

Even would-be candidates like Sarah Palin are in good shape. Palin came to prominence in 2008, post-9/11.

Newt is also too associated with the 1990s — a pretty much forgettable decade, except for the fact that the economy was in a hell of a lot better shape than it is today.

He’s out of fashion. Heck, if the voting public wanted a white-haired, white guy from the South they would’ve been attracted to Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, at least he’s a post-9/11 political figure.

Besides, people might mistake Newt for the ‘Gingrinch’ who stole Christmas.

But he is a Republican and they are terrific at rewriting biographies of their candidates and getting the politcally naive to buy it.

Newt is on his third wife. He was practicing high infidelity with her while he was busy impeaching Clinton for his infidelity.

He told wife number 2 that he was leaving her while she was sick and dying.

But evangelicals have a habit of forgiving Republicans for their straying —- solely because they’re not Democrats.

Still, Newt will reinvent himself, courtesy of lies America’s Bully, Rush Limbaugh, and Fox News will spew.

He needs a campaign song. Hey, maybe he can convince Elton John to retitle one of his hits and now call it  “The Gingrich is Back.”

Too pre-9/11?

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One Response to The Pre-9/11 Candidate

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