Collective selective amnesia

       The Republican Party’s myths and legends tour continues.

The Bush Legacy is getting a shot in the keester with Deadeye Dick Cheney leading the charge with his “torture worked in getting bin Laden” propaganda.

Give the Bushies the credit. Why not? This keeps the tradition alive within the party of enhanced interrogation.

The GOP gives Ronald Reagan all the credit for ending the Cold War. Republicans are so adept at this kind of malarkey they can get their followers to believe Reagan made the decision to end the Cold War after one of his daily walks across the Reflecting Pool in D.C.

In truth, six presidents before The Gipper should get the lion’s share of the credit. Reagan just happened to be taking a nap in the White House when the media declared the Cold War was over.

Republicans are without peer at getting the politically naive to believe anything.

Heck, they could even get away with this one: FDR turned a deaf ear when he got word that the Japanese were planning to attack Pearl Harbor. Then he started World War II when they did attack. It took a future Republican president —- General Dwight D. Eisenhower —- to end it.

Speaking of Republicans, it’s refreshing to know that they’ve been cured (for now) of their collective selective amnesia.

For a while there they were forgetting everything bad that happened when they occupied the White House before The Muslim was inaugurated in 2009. The GOP specifically wanted to forget the George W. Bush eight-year lame duck presidency. So they pretended it didn’t happen. At least they prtetended that nothing bad happened. Even Rudy 9/11 was saying bizarro things like, as far as he could remember, there was never a terrorist attack on the United States when W. was president. Huh?

Speaking of W., he declined that invite last week from President Obama to go to ground zero and share in some of the credit for killing bin Laden.

Several reasons why W. declined have surfaced. Some were never reported. Like:

1. W. was too busy watchin’ rasslin’ and coming up with different snack uses for goobers and beef jerky.

2. Obama told him he wouldn’t be allowed to use a bullhorn this time to talk to the people. (“Rain Man want bullhorn! Rain Man want bullhorn!”)

3. W. threw a hissy fit when Obama asked if he could borrow his “Mission Accomplished” banner from his presidential library.

4. W. had to maintain his image as “The Decider.” So he decided once again not to make the smart choice. This guy isn’t allowed to go grocery shopping because he can’t decide between paper or plastic.

5. He started drinking again.

Speaking of Republicans, former Calee-for-nee-ah governor Ahh-nold and his wife Maria Shriver have called it quits after 25 years of marriage.

He thanked the public for letting them split up in peace without making a big deal out of it. Everyone complied because no one cared.

Still, there were some reasons why they split that were left unreported. Until now:

1. Maria let herself go. She gained a pound.

2. Maria got tired of waiting for him to learn how to walk without dragging his knuckles.

3. He wanted to spend more time with his pecs.

4. She got furious when he wanted to cast her in his next “Terminator”movie as the villainess Skeletor.

5. She couldn’t wait any longer to finally get to say to him” “Hasta la vista, baby.”

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