What about Bob?

       Bob Dylan, the poet laureate of the 1960s, turned 70 years old on Tuesday.

How does it feel?

In his brilliant career, Dylan has also performed for Pope John Paul II, won a best song Oscar and has even recorded an album of Christmas songs.

He is still vital, if you believe his adoring fans and critics.

He had the granddaddy of pop rock magazines, Rolling Stone, named after his first Dylan-goes-electric hit song “Like A Rolling Stone.”

What, you thought the mag was named for Mick Jagger?

There’s something happening here, but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?

What if Dylan released an album of some of his songs, re-written with new song titles to match his age?

Here’s the itinerary for the album “Constipation Row”:

Side One

1. “Like Passing a Kidney Stone”

2. “Highway 61 Revisited (while leaving my left turn signal on”)

3. “Getting Too Close To Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”

4. “My Back Spasms”

5. “Most Likely You Go Your Way and I’ll Go Mine (if I Can Remember Where I was Going)”

                    Side Two

1. “Mr. Dramamine Man”

2. “Liver-Spot Pill-Box Hat”

3. “Time Passes Slowly While Waiting to Get Regular”

4. “(Any Day Now) I Shall Be Released (On My Own Recognizance)”

5. “It’s Alright, Ma, I’m Only Napping”

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