Thus Spoke Sarathustra

         “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

— Bluto in “Animal House”

      Sarah Palin had her own reality TV show on The Learning Channel.

She will next appear in her own reality TV show on the new cable network The Learning Disability Channel.

While on her magic bus tour of the Americas, Eastern edition, Princess Photo-Op talked off the cuff with reporters who weren’t with Fox News (her first mistake.)

Speakin’ ’bout history as only she could know it, the Princess referenced Paul Revere and how he “warned the British that we were comin’.”

That bus of hers should have had “Keeping America Stupid 24/7″ painted on the side.

Thus Spoke Sarathustra: “He who warned the British that they weren’t gonna be taking away our arms by ringing those bells and by making sure that as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free and we were gonna be armed.”

Got all that? Of course, Mama Grizzly knew she messed up and then went on Fox News on Sunday to whine that she was a victim of a got’cha question.

Huh? Sure, some reporter who has it in for you knew you were going to be visiting the home of Paul Revere and he was just waiting to get you on the ol’ one if by land, two if by sea history question.

Behold a Palin horse.

At the end of “Animal House” when we learn what becomes of some of the characters, we howl at the fact that Bluto ends up marrying the hottest chick on campus and that he becomes a U.S. Senator.

There’s art imitating life again. Only a 21st century revisionist look, with a governor’s office and a role reversal.

“Dumb down,

dumb down for the mangling history tour,

dumb down.

You’ve got an invitation

to a Palinesque interpretation.

The mangling history tour.”

Other things Palin gaffed on but weren’t reported:

a. When visiting Bunker Hill, Palin wanted to see the house where Archie and Edith lived.

b. While at Independence Hall, Palin told her youngest daughter Popsicle, or whatever her name is, that was where the Independent voters hold their convention.

c. Palin couldn’t wait to see the Potomac because that’s what her father drove when she was a kid.

Palin’s less than magical history tour by bus was a family vacation. Mostly it was Mama Grizzly and her youngest daughter Pebbles, or whatever her name is. And little Pippi scoffed at the media saying, “Thanks for ruining our vacation.”

Let’s see, a big ol’ bus with “Hello it’s me!” on the side doesn’t attract any attention from the media, especially when they have a schedule of the routes she’s taking to discover real America.

Princess Photo-Op’s bus tour is over, so Paul Revere can stop rolling over in his grave.

Sunday on Fox, the princess also apologized for overshadowing Mitt Romney’s day in the sun when he announced he was running for president.

Way to man-up, Sarah.

On Monday, still another Fox News Republican announced his candidacy for the GOP nod —- former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, who lost his re-election bid by 18 points. In the Keystone State, Little Ricky was also known as Sanitarium, because he belongs in one.

Let’s see, that’s Fox News candidate three, joining Newt and Mitt.

Fox News doesn’t have a dog in this race —- it has an Iditarod.

Next Fox News chump to announce her candidacy for the GOP presidential nod won’t be Palin, it’ll be the female Tasmanian devil, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

1. Bachman-Turner Overdrive had a hit song with “Taking Care of Business.”

2. That tune could be the campaign song for the business candidate, Mitt Romney, whose real first name is Willard.

3. There’s a character actor named Fred Willard.

4. There was a movie about a boy and his rat from 1971 called “Willard.”

5. One of the cast members of “Willard” was Ernest Borgnine, who was in the movie “The Dirty Dozen” with Donald Sutherland.

6. Donald Sutherland was in “Animal House” with Kevin Bacon.

Now if only one of the many GOP candidates running for president would use the slogan, “Let’s Do it!”

Bluto deserves no less than that.

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