Just when he thought he heard every bad pun concerning his last name, disgraced New York Democratic Congressman Anthony “You may already be a” Weiner has opened Pandora’s box and let loose a ton more wiener jokes thanks to his Twitter gone wild debacle.
Twitter should now come with a warning, like on cigarette packs and meds. The Twitter warning should say: “Not for use by children over the age of 30.”
Maybe some “adults” using Twitter need to be protected from themselves, like a drunk friend you make sure doesn’t drive. In that case you have a designated driver. In this case, have a watchdog as well —- call him or her something like the designated Twitter.
Weiner’s weakness on Twitter and just the mention of his last name plays perfectly into the network TV culture of the moment, which is, quite frankly, wiener-obsessed.
It’s a virtual Weinerpalooza playing out on real reality TV. Pundits and TV newspeople can hardly keep a straight face. You can tell they have their favorite Weiner gags they want to spit out.
And so much for the liberal-biased news media not piling on one of their own —- they have been just as ferocious in their coverage.
It’s also fun to watch the other political party spew their moral authority over the other —- as if their team is not capable of such stupidity.
The media loves a circus —- and they never run out of clowns to help let the show go on.
News is nothing but entertainment anymore anyway. So here are some retitled movies that could star Weiner boy:
1. “You’ve Got Male”
2. “The Not-So-Big Lebowski”
3. “Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sexting, but were too Arrogant to Ask”
4. “My Brilliant Career Down the Toilet”
5. “On a Clear Day You Can See My Yankee Doodle Dandy”
And what would be the best line from a famous movie that could also be the tag line to get people in the seats to see “The Anthony Weiner Story”?
A. “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up”
B. “Heeeeeeeere’s Johnny!”
C. “It’s alive! Alive, I tell you!”
Worthy candidates all, but the hands down wiener, uh, winner, would have to be:
D. “Say hello to my little friend!”
And say goodbye to your seat in the House of Representatives.
You’re back in high school again, you Weiner. You’re the running joke again —- the guy with the built-in punchline for a last name.
This time it’s not the football team giving you a wedgey in gym class, it’s the liberal media that catered to your hubris, members of your own party and anybody in the country who just can’t get their fill of wiener jokes.
When it’s all said and done, they’ll say Weiner couldn’t cut the mustard.