Even the liberal media is saying President Obama won’t win a second term because the economy is so bad.
So Mitt Romney will be the next president of the United States.
He knows bidness because he’s run a big corporation and fired hard-working Americans in order to streamline the operation. And, oh ya, he shipped jobs overseas.
Now that Mitt has got the nomination sewed up, he just has to wait until election day 2012 to win.
And, oh ya, the economy has to keep tanking and the unemployment rate has to keep getting worse.
So for Mitt to win, things just have to get more awful.
That should be easy enough — except first he has to get the Republican nomination.
So far he’s the frontrunner. What could actually get in his way?
Well, the who in this case is America’s Bully, Rush Limbaugh, who barked this past week, “bye-bye-nomination” Mitt.
Seems Mitt committed a mortal sin and said something that made sense, and the Bully will have none of that, thank you.
When speaking about climate change, Romney said he thought a lot of it was man-made. In essence, we’re contributing to the destruction of the planet — you know, like the majority of the greatest minds in science believe.
Naturally, the Bully threw one of his catastrophic hissy fits on his radio program because his America doesn’t believe in science.
In Bully’s America, what he believes, so do his millions of minions.
Science is controlled by elitists. You know, big thinkers. Godless liberals.
Let’s see if Mitt backtracks on his comment to appease the Bully.
After all, Romney is the Flip-Flop Fop.
He pushed through a health care system while he was governor of Massachusetts that was the proptotype for what conservatives love to call Obamacare.
Now he’s slamming Obamacare and trying to distance himself from the fact that he’s not only a moderate Republican, he’s actually a liberal.
Romney was pro-choice before he suddenly woke up one morning and decided that now he’s pro-life. To try and backtrack on that, he said that at one time Ronald Reagan was pro-choice before he was pro-life.
When in trouble, Republicans always bring up Saint Ronnie, who is now sending messages telepathically to the faithful from that shining city on a hill.
Except for the slick hair-do, Mitt, you’re no Ronald Reagan.
In 2009, when the auto industry was tanking and Obama literally saved it from extinction, the Mittster, whose daddy was a big-wig years ago in the auto business game, wrote an op-ed in the NY Times and is on record and on tape as saying that bailing out the auto industry would be a disaster. In fact, he said let it fail.
Now Romney’s handlers are trying to take credit for the auto industry paying back its loan and getting their people back to work. You know, Republicans taking credit again — like they tried to do when Obama got bin Laden.
Truth is, Romney has no vision.
Like he has no tie. Yes, this is the way Romney is appealing to the little guy — by never wearing a tie when he’s at speaking engagements. You know, to show that he’s one of them. Maybe next he’ll roll up his sleeves and say “Let’s get to work.”
C’mon, Mitt, we know that you have a walk-in closet full of ties that combined are probably worth more than a struggling family of five can string together in one year.
Yes, all Mitt has to do is wait it out. If he survives the primaries from the lame field of GOP contenders who all bow to America’s Bully and the evangelical holier-than-thou hypocrasy, he’ll get elected in November 2012 because the economy is so bad the people will vote for anyone who isn’t steering the ship right now.
And speaking of ships, Newt Gingrich and his wife, the third Mrs. Newt, returned from a cruise to the Greek Islands this past week.
He should’ve stayed on board. Newt discovered that his entire campaign staff quit him.
When he heard the news he got indigestion because he was having breakfast at Tiffany’s.
First it was the knocking of Paul Ryan’s budget plan that got the Bully upset. Newt immediately caved and groveled his retraction on Fox News.
Then there was the half-million dollar trinket from Tiffany’s he gave Mrs. Newt, while at the same time accusing Obama of being an elitist.
The media immediately (and in this case justifiably) started referring to them as the Blingriches.
So what could possible be the next brilliant strategy for a guy who announced he was running for the GOP nomination for president? Why go on a two-week cruise to the Mediterranean.
Talk about your ship of fools.
As reported in this blog before, Newt was out of contention as soon as he entered because he is a pre-9/11 candidate. And anyone who was presidential timber before we were attacked is, well, so last century.
Obama set the gold standard by beating old timers Hillary Clinton in the primaries and John McCain in the general election.
So if anyone is going to beat Obama, they have to be a post-9/11 candidate. And the GOP contenders so far, besides Newt, fit the bill.
Still not announcing is Rudy 9/11. So where does he fall? Some will say he’s on the cusp. He was mayor of NYC when we were attacked, so he was in the public eye from then on. But some might argue that he was well-known before that and thought of as maybe being president one day.
The vote is a toss-up.
In case of a tie, call Mitt.
He can spare a few.