Shecky Romney

     The wealthy can buy just about anything, except a sense of humor. Or when it is appropriate to try to be funny.
   Last week, GOP presidential frontrunner Mitt "Shecky" Romney thought he'd tell a funny. Speaking in Florida to a group of unemployed people, "Henny" Romney said, jokingly, "I am also unemployed."
   An out-of-work millionaire is a contradiction in terms. Like Mitt Romney, the next president of the United States.
   Romney, who never had to work hard one day in his life, once ran a corporation. He fired hard-working Americans, and shipped jobs overseas. Then he laughed all the way to the bank.
   He could be in that soon-to-be-released movie "Horrible Bosses."
   If laughter is the best medicine, Mitt's in need of that health care he instituted in Massachusetts when he was governor, and is trying to distance himself from now.
   How else can Mitt "Carrott Top" Romney put his sense of humor to, uh, work? Well:

Talking to people with mental health problems:

"I'm also a schizophrenic. I'm for something and against it at the same time."

Talking to the homeless:

"I had to pretend I lived in the unfinished basement of my son's basement in Massachusetts so I could vote there."

Talking about gay marriage:

"I don't believe in same sex marriage. I'm a Mormon. I believe marriage should be defined as a holy union between a man and a woman ... and a woman and another woman."

Defending his stance on climate change:

"It's true. I ticked off Rush Limbaugh when I said a lot of global warming was man-made. But Rush will be glad to know that man has been arrested and is in FBI custody."

Is he pro-choice or pro-life?:

"I used to be pro-choice. But so did Ronald Reagan before he changed his stand on the issue. He was a man of great vision. He saw what I now see: White people are becoming a minority. And we better start multiplying like rabbits."
  Ba-oom-boom.